Hey, how about some more talk about my unfortunate taste in men? I mean, is that a topic you shall EVER tire of? CRIPES.
I know some of you called this, like, DAYS ago, but I'm just going to go ahead and give you the Executive Summary on NotDate. We are...on a break. From NotDating. I know. The break was agreed upon, for a specific length of time (30 days), ending on Easter Sunday. Insert Churchy/Lenten joke here, blah blah ohittotallygetsweirder.
Furthermore! During this break, NotDate is "dating" someone else. And that someone? Is his ex-wife. No, not that one. THE OTHER ONE.
Alrighty? Ahem. Okay. I told you it was fucked up. I am nothing if not your #1 source for dating horror stories on the Internets. MOVING ON (You: *stunned silence*)(*followed by uncontrollable laughter, possibly involving snorting*).
So! Let's come back to that particular clusterfuck in 19 days, shall we? Don't worry, I'll KEEP YOU POSTED. In the meantime, I've got another...issue.
In my zeal to Wash That Man Right Out of My Hair, if you will, I may have... accidentally...started NotDating someone else. FROM WORK. Ha! HAHA! I mean, it's like I sit around TRYING to think of ways to fuck my life up!
The good news (FOR ME) is that, as usual, I offer the poor sucker up for your unfair judgement! YAY! This is my FAVORITE PART!
Pros:
-The guy is nice. I mean, NICE.
-He's divorced and has kids around Ava's age.
-He's a volunteer firefighter, and also volunteers for a medical mission in Romania, FOAH THE LOVE OF GAWD.
-I mean, we're talking CRIMINALLY NICE, pretty much unstoppable On Paper, here.
Cons:
-I don't like nice guys (not strictly his fault, I'll give you fuckers that)
-He uses Comic Sans as his email font
Yeah, yeah, "give a nice guy a chance" blah blah blah. WHAT ELSE YOU GOT? Is that Comic Sans thing not a deal-breaker for anyone ELSE?
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
I swear to God, a team of newborn MONKEYS could come up with better blog titles.
Blog Archive
-
▼
2009
(75)
-
▼
March
(12)
- Health, And Other Occupational Hazards
- MANEATER
- Then Again...
- Fun Fact Friday: I Do Have SOME Healthy Habits
- Ghetto Recipes: What, You People Don't DRINK, Either?
- Ghetto Recipes: Processed "Meats" Edition!
- Ghetto Recipes: Appetizer Edition!
- Three Things: Updates!
- Fun Fact Friday: Habits
- PFFT
- (Crazy) Girl, Interrupted
- Adventures in Babysitting, If By "Babysitting" You...
-
▼
March
(12)
About Me
- Tess
- Tess is a recently divorced single mom living thousands of miles from her family and friends. So she's got that going for her, which is nice. Email her at trueishstory AT gmail DOT com.
71 comments:
I actually had to bring up a fresh word document and check out comic sans. Eh.
Nice guys always finish last, but whomever finishes with them gets to spend their life with a nice guy and I'm pretty sure that's a pretty good life. Just sayin' is all.
Ha!!!! It truly cannot get better (slash worse) than this. Awesome.
Anyway, on the nice guy - does he have your sense of humor? Or is he too nice? Because if someone has the same sense of humor, I can overlook a lot of sins (like Comic Sans). Otherwise, not worth it. For me, anyway, which is totally irrelevant to your life.
I once worked with a criminally nice guy. And I was so mean. (It didn't help that he was also very S-L-O-W, not mentally, but in moving from point a to point b). So I guess I'm saying, screw the Comic Sans (which, like Flibberty, I had to look up, and, uh: no), being too nice is a dealbreaker. For ME. Who is not actually dating your notdate #2.
I married nice but not exciting and to be honest, I could use a little exciting. A good guy is definitely a good catch, but sparks are important, too. Now I know you're talking about NotDating and not commitment, so go ahead! Does that sound totally backwards or what? Date the good guy but look for a little wild for long term? Maybe I do need therapy.
Hmmmm... comic sans notwithstanding, I would say that the whole NOT being attracted to him thing would be the deal-breaker. Hard to start a relationship with someone you don't really want to look at.
This is good.
On the Comic Sans, I have gotten myself stuck in email mode with those little people and balloons and shit running across the bottom of the email--and I didn't know how to get out of it. So maybe he, too, is guilty of being inept, but not necessarily of having bad taste.
TOO MUCH TO COMMENT ON .....
can I ask all you divorced people a question? good ..... when you are NOTdating someone who is also divorced do you ask why they got divorced and if so, are those reasons ever deal breakers for you??
At least it's not Edwardian Script? Nah, that's not really helping. Are you sure he's not gay?
If you're not really attracted to him, then the NotDating shouldn't last too long, regardless. Ain't nothing wrong with a little man-washing zeal, though. Heheh.
If NotDate#1 is dating ONE OF HIS EXES, JESUS H, please kick him to the curb and sing it with me: "Next!"
:) Please.
I think Comic Sans is ALWAYS a deal breaker, along with MR. ALL CAPS.
Mandy-I don't mind discussing the reasons for my divorce with dates, and the divorced guys I've come across don't seem to either.
Both of these guys, to their credit, did ask but said it was okay if I didn't want to discuss it. Also, it CAN be awk, because unless it's something BLATANT, like cheating or whatever, the reasons are often complex.
And of course there are always two sides to every story, and you are only getting ONE, so you have to take that FWIW, obv.
Heh. I hate comic sans font.
Why are you dating him again? I think you need new shampoo again.
OMG, Comic Sans. That is classic. I have friends who would go apeshit if they knew of this.
OK, my Ex was a Supremely Nice Guy, and we all know how that turned out. I was not attracted to him but figured he was so nice and a good guy, and attraction fades, blah blah blah and YEAH. I would much rather have some excitement.
P.S. When Jason and I were first dating, he ventured from his email default font of Times New Roman and sent me a mushy love email in Papyrus font. That kind of sealed the deal for me.
ok, so comic sans is not GOOD, but not a dealbreaker for me. i mean, if he were writing me pants-pissingly hilarious / awesome emails in comic sans, THEN i'd be ok with it.
but dude, not attracted to him? MEH. next shampoo!!
Um, the Comic Sans is a deal breaker. DEAL BREAKER.
A. is a nice guy, but he's also an ass so I am attracted to him. ;-) Maybe if you get to know NotDate2 you will find a nice ass? (Ha Ha!!)
If you aren't feelin' it, I say kick him to the curb. You can even send him an e-mail in his CHERISHED COMIC SANS. Gah!
The nice thing isn't a deal breaker for me as long as he doesn't say things like "heck" and "gosh." Yes, I'm judgemental. You must swear like a sailor to spend time with me. The not being attracted to him thing, particularly at this early stage, is probably the deal breaker. Comic sans is annoying but overlookable.
And, wait! Why are all the comments about new NotDate, not the travesty of previous NotDate who is dating ex-wife 1of2.
Comic Sans is my FAV.
(But I don't use it for my email only because I CAN'T. BOOGERS. Damn government email and their standardized FONT.)
Comic Sans email font?
That is just terrible. TERRIBLE.
It is maybe the equivalent of dotting i's with hearts, a la Stacy McGill from the Baby Sitter's Club.
Mama Bub: GOOD QUESTION. No comment from the Peanut Gallery on NotDate and the 30-Day Shred?
Oh, and actually he's dating ex-wife 2 of 2. Heh.
is the daughter from exwife #1 or #2??
He's dating his OTHER EX-WIFE during your break? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO OH HELL NO. Ahem.
Um, this other guy from work? You're not attracted to him, as in, there's no chemistry and there never will be? Or like, OK, he's not so good-lookin' objectively speaking but he's so great otherwise that you would grow to be attracted to him? Because there's a big difference.
My head is spinning.
Attraction can grow...but usually it's either there (to some degree, be it tiny or large) or not...it's definitely a deal breaker for me.
I hate comic sans the font.
I can't believe NotDate 1of2 is NotDating ExWife 2of2...I mean, TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION, no? I don't have positive feelings toward the "proscribed amount of time" breaks, but maybe that's just my experience with them coloring my perspective.
NotDaughter is from ex-wife #1. #2 was a rebound thing right after his divorce. They only dated for 8 weeks and were only married a few months. It's really not as bad as it seems, and he really is NOT a total douchebag (HELLO RATIONALIZATION) and. Well. Dot dot dot. I am making myself look like a hottie-defending ASS here. Heh. FOR A CHANGE.
OMG. I am at a loss.
Um. Notdate 1 is lame. Dating your other ex wife? Lame. Just Lame.
Notdate 2, eh. Attraction grows as you get to know the person, but you must ask yourself if you are interested in knowing the person first... I have a wonderfully nice fiance, but he is also wickedly funny and not boring. Nice does not have to equate boring. In fact it does equal quality relationships in my experience with many many (yes many!) men. Nice is good, but boring is not.
Also the comic sans things doesn't bug me too much. He could be inept. But my friend started a facebook group called "1 Million Strong Against Comic Sans."
I think I'm still stunned from the whole "taking a Lenten break to date his ex-wife." wha?
Wait, wait, I GET the Lenten date-your-ex-wife thing. Here's how it breaks down:
Fact #1. Notdate must date (apparently).
Fact #2. Tess is superfun/ wicked wild/ hot etc and therefore must be given up for Lent.
Fact #3. Given Facts 1 and 2, Notdate must date unappealing and boring ex wife #2 (or #1, I'm getting a little lost with the twos and ones and so forth).
It's like fish. You eat it during Lent instead of meat: you still get your protein, but in a much paler form.
Not that the whole ENTIRE EXERCISE isn't a total dealbreaker for the meat (ie Tess). And the fish as well, if she has any sense at all.
Okay. Uhh, done now. Apologies all round.
Crap, my "insightful" comment disappeared into the wilds of the internet. I was likening the time I dated a nice man to whom I was not attracted for two years was like eating cookies from a recipe without salt - they're still cookies so they taste good, but not as good as they should taste. Attraction isn't everything, but it is something.
Also, taking a break to date ex #1 of 2? My brain is so crammed with comments, I'm no overload.
Melospiza .. THAT is the best comment EVER!!
I am beginning to think Tess likes NotDate more than she is letting on ..
NotAttraction is a dealbreaker for me.
As for Comic Sans, I used to get menus and bids from this one catering company in Comic Sans, which I thought the worst business idea ever, but then it turned out that MSWord translated the font to ComicSans because I didn't have whatever font the Catering Company had used to create their menus. So they thought they were being all fancy and using a special font for their menus, and what their customer was getting was comic sans! Lesson here is to use common fonts, even if it's not the fanciest.
Comic Sans = Fatal Flaw.
Oh shit. Why has no one addressed the "FROM WORK" thing? Gah! From one maneater to another, that could be big trouble. But you know that. ;-)
If you're not attracted to him, I'd say that's a deal breaker. You have to have that spark, that passion. It's not everything, but it's not nothing, either.
And COMIC SANS? I almost snorted Cherry Coke out my nose. True Story: A new client gave me last year's F/S. GUESS WHAT? Comic fucking Sans. She'd actually brought it to the bank to get a loan like that.
GAH - NotDate#1 must go. He is a flake. Hot guys usually are.
And maybe NotDate#2 does have a font issue that wont come through to your computer. (if its not work to work computer of course)
I once kinda dumped a guy that was REALLY nice and REALLY funny, only to date him years later, falling in love with him etc and after a year and a half he dumped me for his ex wife (karma anyone)
I also dumped a guy years ago because he wore cowboy boots and a belt buckle bigger than a hub cap. I just couldnt get past that.
(he also worked for the phone company and tapped my phone a few times, total dealbreaker, still dont know why he ever admitted doing that except he had no way of knowing information other than admitting his dirty deed)
Is NotDate 2 of 2 possibly gay? That would explain the nonattraction and the comic sans. Actually. No. It wouldn't explain the comic sans. Forget I said anything.....
Not being attracted THIS EARLY? Total dealbreaker.
And NotDate 1? Just sounds plain weird. Taking a prescribed break to date his ex? No. NO NO NO NOOOOO. RUN, Tess, RUN!!!!
I think you need to find a NotDate3 so that proper comparisons can be made with pre-existing NotDates. NotDate3 should be the hot guy at work you ARE attracted to. Ideally, NotDate2 and NotDate3 will find out you’re notdating them both at the same time as NotDate1 comes out of NotWife2 hibernation.
Ok this made my head hurt!
NotDate1..so totally not worth it....what if not dating not wife 2 ends up in not marrying notwife 2 for the second time? Right? I mean how many of us go thru a panic/breakup thought between 6 months and a year anyway? So what if that is what brought around notdivorce2?
Notdate 2...deal breaker if you aren't attracted.
I say go with buttercup...find notdate3 for a fair statistical sample.
Is he hot? Because hot + Comic Sans = total deal breaker.
You know how everyone says not to date a coworker, and that's partly because no one wants to look at you guys being all mushy that early in the morning. But the MAIN reason is because it's so AWK when it's OVER. So if the co-worker is TOTALLY WORTH IT, then I say "Hey, take 'em where you find 'em." But if he's a meh, something to do while you're waiting for the Hottie, it's not worth the Awk.
Seriously kicking myself for not blogging when I was single because I had some awesome stories - maybe not as awesome as yours though. And comic sans could be a deal breaker if he isn't a kindergarten teacher or inspirational speaker. But I married a nice guy and I have to tell you it rocks. (Once he got used to my sense of humor and quit getting his feelings hurt.)
I'm delurking (sent by Swistle a long while back - while you still had your old blog) to say that YES, COMIC SANS IS A DEALBREAKER. How is it still around?? It's bad enough when teenage girls use it, but it's inexcusable in a man.
Also? You're funny. I enjoy reading your angst-ridden blog. Best of luck with NotDating!
POLICY: NEVER date guys, hot or not, from work. Never. (Period. Times Roman) Ariel lover here. Moving on.
I love bad guys. I married #1 husband-good guy turned bad, like rotting fish left out in your trunk for like a week, in the sun bad. Shocked the hell out of me.
#2 husband,hot, with the outer appearance of a really bad swarthy guy, but really, turned out to be the BEST guy! Shocked the hell outta everyone!
Moral? Don't date guys from work.
Also, NotDate#1-probably has std's. Swear. Shifty little shit.
Haters here.
OMG. I know I say this all the time, but this? THIS could be my favorite comment section EVER.
I mean, I am completely unmotivated to start keeping my love life to myself like a normal person.
My husband would not be caught DEAD using Comic Sans! WTF?!? That is the weirdest damn thing you've ever told us, I swear! You're starting to scare me - in an I-wish-you-were-in-my-daily-life friend kinda way, so I could listen to your stories IN PERSON!
Wait, wait, wait....I forgot to say that you don't have to be a douchebag to be douchebagesque. NotDate1 doesn't know what in the HELL he is doing - run far, far away my friend!
On the plus side, he is divorced, which means someone doesn't think he is that nice of a guy.
Always look for the bright side of the moon.
Total stalker here. Found your old blog long time ago, reading happily with no clue about probs with Carlos when--BAM!!!!--blog gone. Ok, well, you did flash the D card a little, but then--BAM!! (I really wish I could comic sans this mutha up for emphasis) So now that I've found you, I've had to read every post so to avoid being a skimmah before commenting on this one.
Seeing his ex? Fail. Next??
Not really, totally, monkey-sex hot for new guy? Co-worker new guy? We've got a not-hot coworker guy on our hands here? You really wanna exchange the awk with him in the elevator on the daily if this goes south?
OK, if you had listed the comic sans thing FIRST, I could have STOPPED READING RIGHT THERE.
How does a grown ass man EVER use comic sans, let alone as his DEFAULT?!?!?!
I'm a total bitch, but I couldn't get past that. Talk about ISSUES.
WAIT, I'm not done! As far as the criminally nice thing... I've NEVER dated nice guys. Ever. OK, wait. I've TRIED and I get BORED and end up hurting them and then blame them because they WERE TOO NICE AND BORING.
Until my husband. This guy is SERIOUSLY over the LINE nice. Like PUPPIES/KITTENS/RAINBOWS nice.
Except, not really. Which I didn't get the pleasure of finding out till I really knew him. He can be a NORMAL jerk like me, but honestly, really only I know that about him. So I really do have it both ways.
Which I would NEVER have found out if I didn't give him a chance.
The difference between him and COMIC SANS is that I *was* physically attracted to him. That's a biggie.
Oh, man. I have nothing more profound to add. Just have to weigh in for scientific, polling purposes.
Comic Sans emails = No Deal.
I'm probably just going to be repeating what everyone else says here and say comic sans? WTF?
NotDate #1 - douchebag to the nth degree. And some might say at least he's being honest with you - yeah, honest about being a douche. And 30 day trial period? Again, WTF?
And - if you have to convince yourself to be attracted it might not be worth it. What would this world be without some good old sexual tension to make things interesting?
Nice guys can be good,as long as you can find a bit of an edge in there somewhere. A little bit of road rage or something at least!
Comic Sans would TOTALLY be a deal breaker, unless he agrees to IMMEDIATELY change it, and his new selection (which he should make on his own, for you to use in your further assessment) is acceptable to YOU. The not attracted thing COULD POSSIBLY change. As for the nice thing... the people who SEEM that nice generally have a NOT so nice side. So there's hope. :)
I'm not going to lie--I completely agree with you on Comic Sans. Ewwwwwwwww.
Comics Sans?! WALK AWAY NOW, LADY. That is the most ridiculous font, perhaps second only to "Curlz." Ick.
I have nothing to add that hasn't been said better, but I neeeded to weigh in on the fact that OHDEARGAWD you have some hilarious commenters! These folks are seriously funny.
Comic Sans is really only acceptable if you are a 14 year old girl.
Nice is okay as long as Nice isn't being used as a softer way to say Boring.
Dear God! You need to take a lenten (plus 90 days or so) break from finding anymore NotDates!
ps. sorry for my lack of commenting lately
Well you know my thoughts on this except for the Comic Sans and Holy Hell, I had NO IDEA is was like the devil font...so interesting!
I laughed so hard when Hall & Oates sang "Maneater" on DWTS last night...totally thought of you because of this post.
And lastly, I simply wanted to reiterate that you MUST be keeping a rolodex of all of these boys so that if I ever need one, we can go to lunch and you can flip through them all like Marie in When Harry Met Sally. :)
Actually the coworker thing is the deal breaker for me. Been there, done that, returned the t-shirt.
And original notdating guy? If he took a break solely for the purpose of dating someone else, how about you just let that break continue into eternity?
I realize that I'm comment, like, a-hundred here, but...
Comic Sans? No way. No excuses.
Guy from work? No way. No excuses.
Giving up _other human beings_ for Lent? No way. No excuses.
Finding a way to be friends with Mr. Nice Guy? Worth a shot. Unless it's to late for that...
Deal breaker. I don't care how nice he is. That's just wrong.
Jeezuz. When I saw the title of this post, I thought we were going to hear more about your CARNIVOROUS HABITS.
How's THAT for a meat avoider??
I snorted all the way through this post.
Comic Sans = Comic GOLD.
It isnt COLORED Comic Sans is it?
He's too nice (i know what you mean) and you're not really attracted to him.
PASS.
You need a notDate #3.
ND#1: complicated due to too many exes.
ND#2: complicated due to work, no attraction, girly font.
ND#3's the charm? Maybe. I just want to hear about ND#3.
perhaps she is already onto NotDate3 and is just trying to catch us up on ND#1&2 first?!?!?!
Haters – give Comic Sans a chance. What did that poor, helpless font ever do to you? Besides looking slightly jaunty in a drunken sailor kind of way?
I just say, be careful none of this gets leaked to Dr. Phil or you're going to be receiving invites to go on the show.
I'm still upset over the Comic Sans! Comic Sans is the frat boy of fonts. Never appropriate, tries to get by on being cute, a little too pudgy/casual and you ALWAYS regret waking up next to it. Um, I mean, using it for correspondence.
OMG! I just snorted pop tarts through my nose after reading this post. Comic Sans - in your words, not mine, FOAH THE LOVE OF GAWD!
Can't comment any more may need to go to the ER to have particles removed from nostrils...
I love how you just put it all out there for us. Painful or not!
The only discernable ick factor (to me, anyway) is notdating someone from work. If and when it gets to the NOT notdating status, it can be pretty darn uncomfortable around the water cooler, unless you are both mature enough to let it be. I never was.
Good luck!
I had to come back and comment on this because I am hoping we get a post Easter update - break time is almost finished!
I have to say, I'm all about the nice guys - they go the distance.
I had to comment on this vintage post because Comic Sans would absolutely be a deal-breaker for me too. Cheers!
Post a Comment