Ghetto Hot Dog Pie (HELLO REDUNDANT)
1/2 lb. ground beef
4 hot dogs, cut in half lengthwise and sliced (FUSSY!)
16-oz can baked beans
1/2 cup ketchup
2 Tbsp. brown sugar
2 Tbsp. mustard
4 oz. Velveeta, cubed (good fucking LUCK cubing Velveeta, btw)
1 unbaked deep-dish pastry shell
4 slices American cheese (can substitute government cheese)
In a large saucepan, cook beef and drain. Add the hot dogs, beans, ketchup, brown sugar, mustard, and cheese cubes. Cook and stir until cheese is melted. Meanwhile, prick pastry shell with a fork. Bake at 400 for 10 min. Fill with hot beef mixture.* Cut each cheese slice into 4 strips; make a lattice topping over pie (this really CLASSES IT UP). Bake 5-10 min longer or until cheese is melted.
Ghetto Pizza Burgers
1 can SPAM, grated or put through food processor
1 lb. ground beef, cooked and drained
1 small jar pizza sauce
Couple of inches hacked off of a block of Velveeta, cubed
1 cup mozzarella cheese
Italian seasoning, to taste
Don't Knock It 'Til You Try It
8 oz small shell macaroni, cooked
16 oz. sour cream
1 small can deviled ham (NOT the same as SPAM, you fucking hippies!)
1 egg
1 bag (choose your own adventure on the size) potato chips, crushed
1/2 lb. bacon, fried and crumbled
3 cups shredded sharp cheddar
1 medium onion
Beat the egg in a bowl; add sour cream and deviled ham. Mix til smooth. Add cooked macaroni. In a casserole, layer 1/2 of macaroni mix, followed by 1/2 of cheese, 1/2 of chips, 1/2 of bacon, ET-FUCKING-CETERA. Repeat, starting with noodles. Bake at 350 for 30-45 minutes or until bubbly.
*THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID, as long as we're going all CAH-LASSY today.
22 comments:
This is fantastic. Your commentary is brilliant. And my favorite part of the comments on the last post? How many people said they were going to try those recipes. And I'm tempted to try several of these, also.
Yeah, if you think I've haven't tried and thoroughly enjoyed EACH AND EVERY ONE of these, you are sorely mistaken.
In fact, SPAM pizza burgers are one of my favorite foods OF ALL TIME, second only to Totinos Party Pizza. Heh.
Ahahahaha! These are pure cuh-lassy, that's for sure.
Does lovely little Ava like them?
For the record, and because I think it fits with these themed posts, today the hospital substituted real cheddar for the American cheese they usually put in the grilled cheese sandwhiches I order at the cafeteria, and MAN! I was disappointed about it...love me some American cheese grilled cheese sandwhiches...
oh good LORD you are KILLING ME with these!!! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!!
Laughing, laughing, laughing!!! And you have no idea how much I needed a good laugh today...not that half a bottle of wine with the boss at lunch didn't help too but recipes with SPAM just take it to that next level. :)
I'm sure Darla told you that Spam is popular in Hawaii (just another thing to love about that state!).
Ha ha! I,um, want to try that last one. Cheese and sour cream and bacon? How could it not be good?
I'm seriously considering trying the last one. Dear God what is wrong with me?
These are too funny.
I am fascinated.
And repulsed.
But mostly fascinated.
(Sorry, I don't eat meat. If I did, my white trash ass would be all over these.)
ok...um.. I have been a fan since the original blog.I have never commented. This is ridiculous.. but oddly, I love it!!
You HAVE TO STOP.
I am DYING! D Y I N G!
*wipes tears of laughter away*
I love you all the more for your love of The Processed Foodstuffs.
Pizza Burgers! Those were my favorite elementary school lunch. They were topped with an extra slice of American cheese and a pickle slice, natch.
I am seriously considering becoming a vegan after your last two posts - ewww...
That last one actually sounds... kinda yummy. My somewhat health conscious self is hanging her head in shame. Thanks a lot.
I am totally typing up a cookbook based on my husband's late grandmother's recipe box...it is chock full of these kind of recipes.
Ghetto chili -
Hormel chili (no beans you HEATHENS), frozen chopped onions, topped with cheddar, LOTS of cheddar.
Sorry, cant do the fake cheese thing, which is weird because I can TOTALLY eat hormel chili with lots of cayenne.
BTW - I can send you TAYLOR ham which can only be found in NJ and Philly.
It totally rocks, and doesnt have that geletin that is made for cat food. In fact its sliced in most stores. If you want a total pork roll (which you will once you taste the wondermous of Taylor ham), I can arrange that too. When I lived out West we had a NJ Food group, where our families would send REAL pizza, Taylor ham in the full roll, Gray's Papaya hot dogs. We would send back real Mexican, which is the only thing the west can provide that the Northeast really cant.
You will never eat Spam again after tasting Taylor ham.
That whole post made me want to throw up a little. Hot Dog pie? Spam pizza? And I always wondered what people did with those little cans of ham with the red devil on the side. Now I know.
WHOO-HOO! I know what we're having for dinner tonight!
Seriously. Thank you.
Holy Spam on white bread toast. My office partner is wondering why I am clutching my side in laughter with tears rolling down my cheeks. She is too hoity toighty to understand the greatness contained herein this post...I'll just hog the recipes for myself. Unless I ever need to have a bridal shower for a whitetrash wedding couple.
I think I threw up a little in my mouth. Your recipes are too funny.
the idea of grated Spam made me a little queasy. actually, Spam in general makes me queasy. the other recipes sound fab, tho!
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