So, it has come to my attention that I have a lot of Ghetto Recipes in regular rotation. I was made aware of this fact as I was perusing my "cookbook" (MS Word file of recipes)(speaking of GHETTO), thinking to myself, "GodDAMN, that is a lot of Velveeta/SPAM/Cream of Bland Vegetable soup!"
Well, anyway. I am fresh out of kicky ways to apply lipstick to the pig that is this incredibly lame topic. If you are into heavily processed foods, and WHO ISN'T, you are in for a real treat.
Let's start with some apperitifs, shall we?
Ghetto Shrimp Dip
8 oz. cream cheese, softened
3 Tbsp. ketchup
3 Tbsp. Miracle Whip (OMG)
2 dashes Worcestershire sauce
8 oz. can (CAN!) shrimp, drained and rinsed
1/4 cup chopped onions
Whip together. Serve with crackers.
Ghetto Crunchies
1 cup finely shredded cheddar cheese
1 cup crushed potato chips (go nuts! use FLAVORED!)
1/2 cup flour
1/4 cup butter, softened
1 tsp. ground mustard
Combine and shape into small balls. Place on ungreased baking sheet and flatten slightly. Bake at 375 for 5-8 minutes or until golden. Serve warm.
Ghetto Bean Dip
1 can refried beans
1 small jar cheez whiz
1 cup sour cream
1 packet ranch dressing mix
Melt all together in a small pan or crock pot. Serve with chips.
This One's Just Ghetto All Around
10 slices white bread, crusts cut off
16 oz. jar cheez whiz
5 oz. jar green olives, chopped
1 lb. sliced bacon, cut in half
Preheat broiler. Cut bread into thirds. Spread each third with cheese and sprinkle with olives. Roll thirds jelly-roll style and wrap each with a half-strip of bacon, securing with a toothpick. Arrange in a single layer on baking sheet. Broil, checking frequently, until bacon is brown and crispy, about 5 min.
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19 comments:
These are hypnotizing me with their EVIL. Must...go...buy...cheez whiz....
I swear my in-laws make that shrimp dip every Christmas. And then they leave it on the counter all night and try to serve it again the next day. Ugh.
The thing I like about your recipes is that they have very few ingredients. I never make anything that has more than 4 or 5 ingredients because I am lazy (and possibly ghetto).
The CRUNCHIES... Those just sound like pure saturated fat right there. In other words, delish.
I LURVE your ghetto recipes.....
Adding butter AND cheese to potato chips? That is a new level of awesomeness.
Just when I think I can't POSSIBLY love you more...
PS, have I MENTIONED that my latest pregnancy craving is FRIED BOLOGNA SANDWICHES (with american cheese and yellow mustard on white bread)?!?!!?
Talk about ghetto!
Cannot.
Get.
Enough.
LOL, you fuckin' kill me.
Wow...just wow...I am so intrigued by the ghetto crunchies and bean dip! You need to have an appetizer/booze party ASAP!
These recipes remind me of the salsa and cheese sandwiches we made in college. White bread, American cheese, and salsa. Then toast in sandwich maker. Yum-O. And I think I might try that bean dip recipe this weekend.
I am SO hauling out everyone of those recipes next time we have a Superbowl party. Salty, easily made, processed food and sports are a beautiful pair!
Dude.
Just. Hold ON.
ZZZZOOOOMMMMFFFFGGGG.
You seriously KILL me.
When I worked at the hospital, we called these kind of recipes Go0d H0usekeeping recipes. The nurses would cut them out to make for later. Invariably, they each had one (or more) of these ingredients:
cream soup
miracle whip
cheeze whiz/velveeta
ritz crackers
Cool Whip
packet of ranch/italian dressing
Those french-fried onion thingies.
You need 1) Pictures 2) Directions and 3) You'll be JUST LIKE THE PIONEER *COOKS* WOMAN.
I cannot believe I am stopping at the store after work tonight to buy potato chips. Haven't had those in the house in ages, but there will be several teenage boys here for some televised sporting event soon and that just screams to them (I'm thinking). At least it won't be those little cocktail sausages that one kid's mom hauls out and no one eats(I hear they are good for sexual innuendo jokes that teenage boys are fond of). I will also add to the mystery by not revealing the ingredients of the Ghetto Crunchies and see if they can guess. Thanks. I was running out of ideas and I want to impress them by not just tossing a bag of pretzels at them.
-KTMR
Testing my new id!
Let's see if this thing works.
-KTMR
Woah.
The only thing I can come up with to say right now is this - I have never had Cheez Whiz in my life. I don't even know if Oregon grocery stores carry it. Am I missing out?
Another Tess! Yay!
Um, Oregon, that's in...AMERICA, right? Well, if you can't find cheez whiz, you could always substitute Velveeta, or that spray "cheez" in the can. Heh.
Oh my god, these are so AWESOME. Awesome!! My husband will be particularly into the Ghetto Bacon Wraps. Except that he hates olives. Hmmm. Maybe salsa?
Are you SERIOUS with the bacon wraps? White Bread?! BWAHAHAHAA. That's awesome.
Totally making these. My family will DIE of LOVE.
Well, you've gone and ruined bacon now for me. Congrats. Hope you're happy with yourself.
Bacon + green olives = what the HELL, man???
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