Ugg! Double ugg! I'm suffering from some serious general malaise today. Which is really pretty standard, since today is TUESDAY, which means yesterday was MONDAY.
You see, Tosc and I do this thing we lamely call "Monday Funday". We never have our kids on Mondays, so we like to go "out on the town" or whatevs. Man, why do I sound so OLD today? With the "you see, COMMA" and the "out on the town"? GAH! Well, anyway, as you may have conjectured (NOT A WORD), Monday Funday typically involves competition-level eating and drinking. And sometimes hanging out in smoky bars, which still exist in Texas, UNFORTCH. (WHY TEXAS?)
So, we like to try new restaurants and bars and such. Last night we tried this one, which was an Irish Pub complete with actual Irish bartender and rowdy soccer teams (we got the bratwurst & cheese platter, thanks for asking). The awesome thing about living in Dallas(ish) is that you can try a new restaurant/bar every Monday for the rest of your life and still never get to all of them. Which sort of fills me with glee, since I come from a town where your restaurant/bar options are pretty much limited to the American Legion (Post 69!) or the casino.
Well, our options are wide open in THEORY, anyway, since Tosc is wicked picky about server/bartenders, mostly because he gets disappointed if he doesn't leave the place without feeling that we're all BFFs 4LIFE!1. He's one of those mysterious creatures who chats up random strangers on the reg. Like, I'll leave to use the restroom, and when I come back he's friended the dude sitting next to us on Facebook. That's based on a true story, btw. Whereas I radiate a distinct forcefield of...not that.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this post, other than away from my work. Anyway. Monday Funday. Definitely one of those things that's downright PLEASANT about the whole divorce/shared custody sitch. Tosc and I get to spend a lot of one-on-one time together focusing just on each other, which is cool. And something not a lot of parents get. It's not the same as going out while the kids are home with a babysitter, you know? It's more like the feeling you get while the kids are away at summer camp. The possibilities are endless!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Things that are NOT working
*Switching from peanut butter to almond butter. Listen, I've read all of the same propaganda that you have on peanuts, and then some. They are a poisonous fake-nut! A LEGUME! But you guys, I love peanut butter. Almond butter is like its dirty hippie cousin, twice removed, emphasis on the DIRTY. It's all grainy and crunchy and...ALMONDY! Bah. Plus, I need Popeye-style arms and/or an industrial-strength immersion blender to mix that shit. I end up eating half Almond Oil and half Almond CLAY. UNACCEPTABLE.
*Coming up with stuff to look forward to in 2010. Tosc and I are planning a trip to Oklahoma City for our one-year anniversary (!!!) in a few weeks, and we are headed to MN again this summer for my family's annual National Lampoons Functional Alcoholics Vacation. But other than that...WHAT? Tosc wanted to do a week-long road trip with all three girls, to which I LAUGHED HEARTILY in his Clark Griswold FACE. I mean, really. Insert Shaggy-style "HUH?" here! I was thinking more along the lines of a trip to London to booze with our friend Woz, or maybe a weekend in NYC or Boston. Where are you guys going this year, and are you DRIVING there with THREE 3-YEAR-OLDS for the love of CHRIST?
*Coming up with stuff to look forward to in 2010. Tosc and I are planning a trip to Oklahoma City for our one-year anniversary (!!!) in a few weeks, and we are headed to MN again this summer for my family's annual National Lampoons Functional Alcoholics Vacation. But other than that...WHAT? Tosc wanted to do a week-long road trip with all three girls, to which I LAUGHED HEARTILY in his Clark Griswold FACE. I mean, really. Insert Shaggy-style "HUH?" here! I was thinking more along the lines of a trip to London to booze with our friend Woz, or maybe a weekend in NYC or Boston. Where are you guys going this year, and are you DRIVING there with THREE 3-YEAR-OLDS for the love of CHRIST?
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Things that are working
*I've started making a habit of bringing Ava to lunch on the Monday following a weekend I don't have her. Since Monday and Tuesday are Carlos' days, this has the effect of breaking up her 5-day absence, and ensures that I never go more than 3 days without seeing her. Plus, it's fun for her to leave school and go to McDonalds or wherever with me, and I can talk to her about her weekend while it's still fresh. Although the days of her even CONSIDERING having lunch with me are no doubt numbered, I definitely recommend it for those of you on a 50/50 schedule (ARE there any of you?). I should note that Mondays remain "his day" and therefore he could TECHNICALLY be a dick and not allow me to pick her up, although I don't really see why he would, since she's at school anyway, but then again we never underestimate the power of spite, now do we? MOVING ON. It's working. For now.
*I stopped drinking pop. I didn't really MEAN to, or resolve to, or anything like that, it just sort of happened. For a long time I was in the habit of drinking a pop in the afternoon at work, plus with certain foods (fast food, etc.). Then I started drinking more coffee, which made the afternoon pop not sound quite as good, and then when I was doing it less frequently I started noticing how I got headaches when I DID do it, and then I just sort of...quit. So yeah. I think it's probably a good idea, for me. As I get older I'm definitely noticing sensitivities to certain foods, especially sweets and artificial sweeteners. Good times. So, that leaves me with Coffee and Wine as my main beverages, and I am not even KIDDING you guys. Nice.
*I stopped drinking pop. I didn't really MEAN to, or resolve to, or anything like that, it just sort of happened. For a long time I was in the habit of drinking a pop in the afternoon at work, plus with certain foods (fast food, etc.). Then I started drinking more coffee, which made the afternoon pop not sound quite as good, and then when I was doing it less frequently I started noticing how I got headaches when I DID do it, and then I just sort of...quit. So yeah. I think it's probably a good idea, for me. As I get older I'm definitely noticing sensitivities to certain foods, especially sweets and artificial sweeteners. Good times. So, that leaves me with Coffee and Wine as my main beverages, and I am not even KIDDING you guys. Nice.
Friday, January 8, 2010
A bit dramatic for a Friday, eh?
Last night I picked up Ava from school, and on the way home we saw Carlos and his girlfriend running. We were stopped at a stop sign, and they ran literally right in front of us. Ava didn't see him, but I did, so I waved, and rolled down the window on her side so she could say hi.
He was obviously uncomfortable and nervous, but he introduced me to his girlfriend. I've known her name for a while (thanks Facebook), plus the odd tidbit Google could provide, but not much else about her. But I know one thing: she's not a mom.
Because right after Carlos introduced her, she leaned through the window into the backseat of my car and gave Ava a kiss. And that's how I know.
He was obviously uncomfortable and nervous, but he introduced me to his girlfriend. I've known her name for a while (thanks Facebook), plus the odd tidbit Google could provide, but not much else about her. But I know one thing: she's not a mom.
Because right after Carlos introduced her, she leaned through the window into the backseat of my car and gave Ava a kiss. And that's how I know.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Accio sticky note!
You guys, where the FUCK is my sticky note with all of my hilarious and brilliant post ideas? DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT. Probably stuck to the inside of a garbage truck/floating in my pool, that's where. Argg. It's really no wonder stuff keeps disappearing from my desk, Harry Potter-style. My office looks like it belongs to an eccentric history professor complete with Crazy Hair, not a goddamned CPA. However, you'll be pleased to know that I DID manage to keep track of 2 bottles of expired "joint maintenance" vitamins, the 2009 Firefighter/EMS shift schedule, and copy of CFO Magazine from 2008. So there's that. If you're in the market for any of that shit, I'm your man.
Well, 3 things, although I KNOW there were more (!@#):
1) There is still time to log your happier/thinner/richer answers. You don't have to do the entire infernal meme. Hell, just leave the HTR as the ENTIRETY OF YOUR COMMENT, you lazy bastards! The point is: do IT! do IT! (Tangent: Ava has a cold and I've been making her take that disgusting Mucinex crap, by pouring her a capful and chanting do IT! do IT!, complete with fistpump. Heh. Slash omg)(Ava: I need to WASH IT DOWN mommy!)
2) I still want to write about my resolutions. I shall tease with the following: my fitness resolution is to run LESS and lift weights MORE. If the 30-Day Shred has taught me anything, it's that I am weak as a leetle kitten. In fact, I have known kittens in my time who could easily kick my ass in a bench-press competition. Full-grown adult cats, don't even get me started.
3) I have had yet another epiphany about what an asshole I am. I'm dating a guy who is nice to me, like basically 100% of the time. If I am not nice to HIM, like the snappy snapping turtle I can sometimes be, he just gives me that Nice Guy Wounded Puppy Dog face and walks off. Which is lovely and low-stress and blah de blah, HOWEVER. I've found that chronic Healthy Adult Interaction basically robs me of the chance to Check Out. You Checker-Outers know what I mean. When you're fighting or pissed at someone, or THEY at YOU, you get to sort of check out for a bit, in terms of effort. You don't have to TRY or consider the other person. You can just go off by yourself, or silently/angrily watch TV, or read, or go for a drive, or whatever! You are OFF THE RELATIONSHIP CLOCK! Um. Because I mostly try. I DO! And that shit is TIRING, am I right? How do you nice fuckers do it 24/7?
So, Executive Summary:
I am
1) an episode of Hoarders waiting to happen, except the OPPOSITE thing where you throw away shit you actually NEED
2) unable to weight-lift my way out of a paper bag, especially not one of those thick, Whole Foods ones
3) an asshole. MINIMUM, holy shit.
(there are TOTALLY other Checker-Outers out there, don't even lie. I'm looking at YOU, silent-treaters)
Well, 3 things, although I KNOW there were more (!@#):
1) There is still time to log your happier/thinner/richer answers. You don't have to do the entire infernal meme. Hell, just leave the HTR as the ENTIRETY OF YOUR COMMENT, you lazy bastards! The point is: do IT! do IT! (Tangent: Ava has a cold and I've been making her take that disgusting Mucinex crap, by pouring her a capful and chanting do IT! do IT!, complete with fistpump. Heh. Slash omg)(Ava: I need to WASH IT DOWN mommy!)
2) I still want to write about my resolutions. I shall tease with the following: my fitness resolution is to run LESS and lift weights MORE. If the 30-Day Shred has taught me anything, it's that I am weak as a leetle kitten. In fact, I have known kittens in my time who could easily kick my ass in a bench-press competition. Full-grown adult cats, don't even get me started.
3) I have had yet another epiphany about what an asshole I am. I'm dating a guy who is nice to me, like basically 100% of the time. If I am not nice to HIM, like the snappy snapping turtle I can sometimes be, he just gives me that Nice Guy Wounded Puppy Dog face and walks off. Which is lovely and low-stress and blah de blah, HOWEVER. I've found that chronic Healthy Adult Interaction basically robs me of the chance to Check Out. You Checker-Outers know what I mean. When you're fighting or pissed at someone, or THEY at YOU, you get to sort of check out for a bit, in terms of effort. You don't have to TRY or consider the other person. You can just go off by yourself, or silently/angrily watch TV, or read, or go for a drive, or whatever! You are OFF THE RELATIONSHIP CLOCK! Um. Because I mostly try. I DO! And that shit is TIRING, am I right? How do you nice fuckers do it 24/7?
So, Executive Summary:
I am
1) an episode of Hoarders waiting to happen, except the OPPOSITE thing where you throw away shit you actually NEED
2) unable to weight-lift my way out of a paper bag, especially not one of those thick, Whole Foods ones
3) an asshole. MINIMUM, holy shit.
(there are TOTALLY other Checker-Outers out there, don't even lie. I'm looking at YOU, silent-treaters)
Monday, January 4, 2010
First Monday!
Yeah, so the rest of that meme is not going to happen. I'm sure you called it, assuming you're not some kind of Epic Skimmer.
One of the many, many reasons I can't be bothered is because it's FIRST MONDAY, aka the first Monday of the new year, aka the start of health kick season! WHEEE!!! Oh boy oh boy oh boy.
Listen. I know there's been some scuttlebutt recently on the health kick front. I'm bummed about that, only because I hope it doesn't discourage anyone from talking about their goals for the new year. I really look forward to this time of year, for that reason. I've found some of my favorite blogs by following someone's health kick or resolution.
And here's something I would like to say about the word "health": there are many kinds. Physical, mental, spiritual, whatevs. I don't necessarily place value on one over the other. I caught some shit recently for calling my dedication to fitness a "hobby," but I stand by that opinion, if not the choice of word.
I obviously prioritize my own fitness, and consider it integral to my own happiness. I have been fit for a long time, and plan to continue to do whatever it takes to be fit. However. Fitness is just one of many positive things we can choose to spend our time on to make us happier. We can work on our spiritual health, by meditating regularly, or our mental health, by reducing stress or reading more. Etc. "But Tess!", you say. "If you're not physically healthy, none of that matters!" Right. And many people would say the same about spiritual health. "But if you don't have a personal relationship with JESUS, none of that matters!" Or mental health. "But if you can't get out of bed in the morning, none of that matters!" You see where I am going with this.
Anyway.
If on this First Monday you are trying to do something that is "good for you" in some way, let me hear about it, will ya?
One of the many, many reasons I can't be bothered is because it's FIRST MONDAY, aka the first Monday of the new year, aka the start of health kick season! WHEEE!!! Oh boy oh boy oh boy.
Listen. I know there's been some scuttlebutt recently on the health kick front. I'm bummed about that, only because I hope it doesn't discourage anyone from talking about their goals for the new year. I really look forward to this time of year, for that reason. I've found some of my favorite blogs by following someone's health kick or resolution.
And here's something I would like to say about the word "health": there are many kinds. Physical, mental, spiritual, whatevs. I don't necessarily place value on one over the other. I caught some shit recently for calling my dedication to fitness a "hobby," but I stand by that opinion, if not the choice of word.
I obviously prioritize my own fitness, and consider it integral to my own happiness. I have been fit for a long time, and plan to continue to do whatever it takes to be fit. However. Fitness is just one of many positive things we can choose to spend our time on to make us happier. We can work on our spiritual health, by meditating regularly, or our mental health, by reducing stress or reading more. Etc. "But Tess!", you say. "If you're not physically healthy, none of that matters!" Right. And many people would say the same about spiritual health. "But if you don't have a personal relationship with JESUS, none of that matters!" Or mental health. "But if you can't get out of bed in the morning, none of that matters!" You see where I am going with this.
Anyway.
If on this First Monday you are trying to do something that is "good for you" in some way, let me hear about it, will ya?
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