You guys, where the FUCK is my sticky note with all of my hilarious and brilliant post ideas? DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT. Probably stuck to the inside of a garbage truck/floating in my pool, that's where. Argg. It's really no wonder stuff keeps disappearing from my desk, Harry Potter-style. My office looks like it belongs to an eccentric history professor complete with Crazy Hair, not a goddamned CPA. However, you'll be pleased to know that I DID manage to keep track of 2 bottles of expired "joint maintenance" vitamins, the 2009 Firefighter/EMS shift schedule, and copy of CFO Magazine from 2008. So there's that. If you're in the market for any of that shit, I'm your man.
Well, 3 things, although I KNOW there were more (!@#):
1) There is still time to log your happier/thinner/richer answers. You don't have to do the entire infernal meme. Hell, just leave the HTR as the ENTIRETY OF YOUR COMMENT, you lazy bastards! The point is: do IT! do IT! (Tangent: Ava has a cold and I've been making her take that disgusting Mucinex crap, by pouring her a capful and chanting do IT! do IT!, complete with fistpump. Heh. Slash omg)(Ava: I need to WASH IT DOWN mommy!)
2) I still want to write about my resolutions. I shall tease with the following: my fitness resolution is to run LESS and lift weights MORE. If the 30-Day Shred has taught me anything, it's that I am weak as a leetle kitten. In fact, I have known kittens in my time who could easily kick my ass in a bench-press competition. Full-grown adult cats, don't even get me started.
3) I have had yet another epiphany about what an asshole I am. I'm dating a guy who is nice to me, like basically 100% of the time. If I am not nice to HIM, like the snappy snapping turtle I can sometimes be, he just gives me that Nice Guy Wounded Puppy Dog face and walks off. Which is lovely and low-stress and blah de blah, HOWEVER. I've found that chronic Healthy Adult Interaction basically robs me of the chance to Check Out. You Checker-Outers know what I mean. When you're fighting or pissed at someone, or THEY at YOU, you get to sort of check out for a bit, in terms of effort. You don't have to TRY or consider the other person. You can just go off by yourself, or silently/angrily watch TV, or read, or go for a drive, or whatever! You are OFF THE RELATIONSHIP CLOCK! Um. Because I mostly try. I DO! And that shit is TIRING, am I right? How do you nice fuckers do it 24/7?
So, Executive Summary:
I am
1) an episode of Hoarders waiting to happen, except the OPPOSITE thing where you throw away shit you actually NEED
2) unable to weight-lift my way out of a paper bag, especially not one of those thick, Whole Foods ones
3) an asshole. MINIMUM, holy shit.
(there are TOTALLY other Checker-Outers out there, don't even lie. I'm looking at YOU, silent-treaters)
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30 comments:
The opposite of Hoarders sounds like a terrible TV show. Sorry.
Oh, I totally silent-treat, except not FULL ON silent treatment because that can get a person in trouble. I do the "minimal answer" kind of silent treatment, which is way harder to get in trouble for and drives the other person even crazier.
Also, "especially not one of those thick, Whole Foods ones" was totally hilarious.
Happiness: SAME. It was good then it's good now.
Sizeness: THINNER. I was still losing the baby weight last January, so it doesn't count. Except I AM at my thinnest EVER (still not that thin, but whatever, I am awesome) SO THAT TOTALLY COUNTS.
Financialness: So. Much. Poorer. Now instead of feeling guilty about being a SAHM, I feel guilty about being a SAHM and peruse Craigslist ads. If I'm still poorer next year maybe I'll actually APPLY.
In regards to the HTR thing - I think I'm Happier, probably a little Fatter but really close to the same, and while the last month of the year was a motherfucker, I may actually be a tiny bit Richer but it's gonna take a month or so before I'm sure.
I am a Checker-Outer, and I am married to a Checker-Outer, but we check out & back in on different schedules, which usually means our fights go through 2 or 3 phases before they're done. It's friggin exhausting.
I totally did the checker outer thing last night, for all of 20 minutes. DH has it down to an art. He can check out for a damn long time. like... for so long that I wonder if he's ever coming back - and he doesn't even seem to notice...
OUCH - watch it with that finger pointing! LOL! i'm a TOTAL checker-outer and my DH called me on it last night. *sigh*
I am a checker-outer, but I think that there is a good time and a place for it. When my Husband and I were first living together (not married yet, sinful and all that), he would want to talk and talk and TALK (slash argue) about issues. I would then get so sleepy that I would literally start dozing off. How's that for checking out!?
Over time, we've worked it out so that if there's a issue that won't be resolved quickly through discussion, he knows that I need a little time to step away and process and THEN I am ready to go back to talking/arguing without falling asleep.
So can't some checking out be healthy and not asshole-y?
Laura-that does sound like the good kind. I mostly do the asshole kind, where you are not just "spending time apart" or "thinking critically about the issue" but rather NOT considering the other person, and just doing your own thing and trying to pretend they don't exist. Heh.
Happiness: same
Thinness: maybe slightly thinner
Richness: richer because we are very lucky and both still have jobs.
Checking out. Hmm. I'm not sure whether we do that or not. I'd say when we have an "issue," we tend to fight it all the way out, and then it's done. I am a total Snappy Snapperson to Mr. Perkypants in the mornings, though, and whenever I get all "I am such an ASSHOLE" he's like "What are you talking about? You're wonderful." Yeah. Which somehow makes me feel GUILTIER because I am a weirdo.
Did I mention lucky? Hey, I paid my relationship dues, don't start with me.
Ooh! Ooh! I did weightlifting once! I mean, I was really INTO it once, for like, 6 months. And then I tried to lift weights during morning sickness and HURG.
If you are still looking for a weight training program, I highly recommend The New Rules of Lifting For Women by Lou Schuler and Alwyn Cosgrove and some nutritionist lady. Crap title, but it's differentiating itself from The New Rules of Lifting, which is apparently for boys. My husband did that one and I am here to tell you it is EASIER, because boys recover slower. I'm totally not kidding. Anyway, the workouts are really good (functional strength, well-balanced, joint-stabilizing, etc.). You can easily combine it with other things (e.g. whatever cardio floats your boat).
Regarding the HTR, I am still working on completing that ENDLESS QUIZ to put on my very own blog, but here's the quick answer:
Happier or Sadder? SAME
Thinner or Fatter? THINNER (was mid-pregnancy last year)
Richer or Poorer? SAME-ish (now both more income and more house mortgage debt)
And about being a checker-outer? I don't even know what you're talking about. I'm going to go over here and noisily rattle dishes and exhale forcefully.
OH yeah! It's not just you. I was a serious Checker-outer during my crappy 15 year (first) marriage. Three months I married the greatest, nicest guy ever. But how in the hell am I supposed to get any crafts done/tv watched/books read/girlfriend bonding when I'm married to someone I actually enjoy spending time with?
My husband and I vowed to not ever check out, and always talk it through until it was resolved. Then we had the baby, and we had three day-er fights. There comes a point where you have to sleep. I became a checker outer when he did. I stopped caring. It's hard to get back what we had...checking out is a loss of trust to me.
Wow, what a downer comment.
Wait, wait, wait. You have a pool?
Fine! God! I'll do H/T/R.
I'm happier because I had a baby girl in July. I'm fatter because of my happier answer, but once she's sleeping through the night and I'm not pumping all the live long day at work, I am going to return to exercising because it's killing me. I'm poorer because my husband just went down to three days of work per week, but that also adds to the happiness quotient because I think we can afford it and it means my daughter only does day-care three days a week and my son does school after care only three days per week and the entire family can stop running around like crazed animals four out of seven mornings per week. So to sum up I'm fatter and poorer, but happier - although summed up it sounds like I'm an idiot.
This is why I email myself instead of using actual sticky notes. Yes, a third of my inbox is emails from myself, but it works surprisingly well. I just have to make sure to include key words so that I can search for and actually find the emails later.
I did not know you are a 30-day shred vetran. Did you start? Or do the whole thing? Do you still do it? Interested parties want to know.
I would totally watch the opposite of Hoarders! We would call it "You Threw it Away Yesterday, Moron!" And I would laugh my ass off. Um, yeah, pack-rat much?
And that whole check-out theory? That kind of lit up my head like a light bulb. 'Cause, uh, I kind of read a lot, and that's kind of checking out. And my hubby kind of wears me out sometimes in a way I really can't explain. And I think you totally just explained it. It's just interaction. And I'm kind of a loner. Holy shit.
I'm the Same. (even though I'm all stressed up with no where to go, It hasn't affected my happiness/satisfaction)(although, whoops, I am pregnant, so should I say happier? whatever. IN GENERAL, I'm the SAME, stop over-thinking, Michele)
Thinner. By 25 lbs. 10 of those were due to a devoted exercise and diet routine (which I bailed on by October) And the other 15? Persistent morning sickness. Who loses weight while pregnant?
Poorer. Don't care to elaborate.
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? (Nice mood, Michele)
I am....the same. Not happier, not sadder. Less annoyed with the children, I suppose. And less sleep deprived. So, maybe happier if I had to pick!?
I THINK I may be fatter, but am not sure. Actually, I am probably technically thinner, but this time last year I had a 3 month old and was breast feeding. And now I have thinner, flabbier boobs and some kind of crazy pregnancy looking belly.
Richer. Thank GOD because that poor shit SUCKS.
Re: checking out....I am with Swistle. I do the minimal talk with lots of banging around and "accidently" slamming doors. Pretty sweet.
So, I am
a) annoyed
b) flabby breasted
c) throwing money around while slamming doors.
Shelly-uh, yep, that's pretty much me. I used to use reading as a form of checking out ALL THE TIME. But when I was married, I felt justified in doing it, and now I DON'T. I feel like an ASSHOLE for checking out on someone who is so clearly CHECKED IN. Ya know?
Penny-I have done The Shred Level 1 THREE (3) times. And that is all. The first time I was sore for 3 days, no shit. So, that's going well.
Sometimes I like to check out just because I'm selfish, not mad or anything, and it causes a fight because he notices the checking-out and calls me on it and I deny and ignore. Then I REALLY check out.
Also: Fatter. Definitely fatter. I think the heaviest I've been without large quantities of baby in the belly. And poorer, since we spent half the year with no jobs. Good times. You wouldn't think I could afford to eat so much, but it turns out that the junk food is the cheap shit, and eating healthy is too damn expensive...
Holy shit, reading your post and all the comments had me laughing so hard i startled my husband out of his TV coma (not an easy feat, i assure you.) Especially Katie's response with the 1, 2, 3 summary at the end - priceless! Am laughing all over again just thinking about it. :)
Ahem...have now composed myself enough to respond to HTR:
Same happiness. More stressed in some ways because I have a big role with my professional association (blah, blah, snoozefest I know) and have been at my job for more than a year so people JUST starting figuring out I'm actually really GOOD at my job so they've jumped all over that shit, dammit. But still, at least I actually like what I do.
Same size, which means still a little overweight, but definitely stronger with muscles, so there's that (thanks overpriced trainer!)
Same base-wealthiness as we did not receive salary increases (thanks shitty-ass economy!) Although truthfully, I'm extremely thankful for my job so I really didn't care. Maybe slightly poorer overall since we just had hardwood floors put in, but then again my car got paid off this year so really we just moved money around.
Am babbling now and need to stop, the end.
Everybody needs "me time." Everybody. I have the most non-confrontational husband ever and I will just say, "leave, shut the door, I'll be out in half an hour." I don't see anything wrong with that as long as you're upfront about what the deal is.
H: I have a job. And I don't leave weeping every night. Vast improvement over old job and months of unemployment. Happier!
T: Nope. But not fatter either, so, you know, calling that a win, considering I spent six unemployed months on my couch eating doritos and feeling sorry for myself.
R: No. See: 6 months unemployment
Re: checking out. I totally do that. I don't do silent treatment but I do minimum-response treatment and it PISSES the husband OFF.
Oh, Tessie, I do love you.
H: Vastly. Oh, I am so, so, so grateful that I am finally dealing with The Depression and The Anxiety. Oh, yes, happier.
T: The same. Which I suppose is good, since for the three previous years I gained weight for the first time in my adult life.
F: Better. Not richer or poorer, but much more in control of it and quite content to live within my means.
Happier or Sadder: about the same, I guess. No super-bad shit happened. Things are generally good.
Thinner or Fatter: Although this is in complete violation of The Policy! I am about 9 pounds thinner. Well, I was right before Christmas. Now I am only about 6 pounds thinner.
Richer or Poorer: the same, I think. Although I can't say for sure because we are FUCKING DISORGANIZED with our finances.
Dude, I would never have pegged you for the messy desk. I would have thought totally the opposite.
I'm mostly checked out in my own little world. It's thrilling to Homer when I check in! Oh, and I'm same/same/same. Yawn.
Right now, with two small-smalls, The Man and I are like Ships Passing In The Night or whatEVER anyway.
Mostly, my checking out hasn't had to do with the state of relationship. I bet that you'll get used to the GOOD and start just checking out to UNPLUG. In a regular way, if you know what I'm saying...
I sort of think it's HEALTHY to check out. Right? I mean, when I fight with someone I want time to think and reflect and possibly come up with reasons why I am right and they are so clearly wrong. Less yelling that way, besides.
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