In the guy's defense, because I am nothing if not an Irrational Defender of the Hot, there's obviously more to him than just those two (slightly nutty) things. I ALSO present the following for your consideration:
On churchiness: It's not an automatic disqualifier for me. I've dated churchy guys before (hard to avoid at CBU), and without exception they were all great boyfriends. My point is, I don't enjoy being pigeon-holed as any one "type", and I try hard not to do that to other people. In fact, I may or may not have accepted his invitation to attend church (hungover) the next morning (TRUE STORY! DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING, DID YA?). There might even be something a little, uh, ATTRACTIVE about this type of guy, in an I-am-definitely-going-to-hell sort of way. Ahem.
On the $40 rule: My sister, as usual, called it when she said I would think that was funny. I did. I find all SORTS of inappropriate things funny, which is one of my many dubious charms. Anyway, as I said in the comments, he later spent upwards of $80 on our bar tab (see hangover above), so in my mind it was just stupid "guy talk" which should never have seen the light of day. Also, what kind of BITCH runs up an $80 bar tab on a first date? An $80 bar tab is nothing to sneeze at in Texas, home of the sub-$5-beer. I clearly have some type of Special Talent in this area. GAWD. Horrifying. Imagine what they are saying about me on HIS blog!*
Other Skills and Qualifications:
- He's also divorced, and he also has a daughter.
- He used to be in a band, and he has a great singing voice. Swoon.
- His house is clean, and not some horrifying bachelor pad.
- He likes me. He's been clear about this.
So! There you have it! As always, I welcome, nay DEMAND, your comments.
*He doesn't have a blog. Believe me, I have SCOURED THE INTERNETS. Also, his name is quite common. Damn those Real Hispanics and their unimaginative naming schemes!
47 comments:
You've already heard him sing??? Swoon indeed. Any chance he plays the guitar too? And what about the hair?? You know where that fits on my list. :) (ahem, Rob). Srsly need more details...you're such a TEASE rationing the information.
I heard him sing AT CHURCH! Heh. But also, in the car and stuff. You know those band types, they can't stop themselves.
He plays the guitar, and the drums, AND piano.
He has great hair, actually. So do most Real Hispanics, IME.
Guitar, drums, piano, good voice AND hot. I don't care if he SHAT himself on your first date, he's a keeper.
Does he know you're moving? What's the timeframe for your move? Can you make him love you before you leave so he'll follow you out there? :)
He sounds awesome!
What if he has an ANONYMOUS blog? No? Not a possibility?
Also, he's straightforward about liking you: HUGE PLUS. No stupid games!
There is something positively dreamy about a cute boy that can play the piano.
Clean is always a huge plus in my book. And someone having a kid would be a plus for me too. Love kids and hate being pregnant, so, bonus!
But wait... You're not DATING this guy, right?
P&D-He doesn't know I might be moving. Um. Because I am a BITCH.
Jess-He is not very internet-y. He spends most of his workday in the car or on sales calls and not at a desk. I would be SHOCKED to find out he has a blog, or anything like it. Plus, isn't the anon blog kind of a...CHICK THING?
DH-Definitely not dating. I mean, that would make no SENSE. RIGHT?? (!!)
This is BRILLIANT! It sounds like "Wuv, tru wuv" to me. I'm digging the musician angle. That's way hot.
omg you WENT TO CHURCH? fascinating! this is like reading a national geographic or something, what with all the crazy cultures i don't understand :-)
does he know your, uh, story? re: carlos, i mean?
i say GO FOR IT. he sounds fun, and hot. just have some fun with him! you can always stop not-dating him at a later date :-)
How in the hell did you run up an $80 bar tab? Was he buying rounds for the bar? LOL
And going to church - isn't that like meeting the parents in the bible belt?
Hawtie factor trumps many other factors - especially when first dating after a divorce.
It sounds like he's fun AND a good guy. And those things can be kind of hard to find these days, so I say go for it. Plus, he has a daughter, which I think is great for you and your daughter(and my boyfriend has a daughter and I LURVE her).
Ummm, if you have gone to church with him AND seen his house *raised eyebrows* - think you might be dating.
I always was horrible and pathetic at dating, so I have no opinion or judgments on these kin of things, except to say that Texas is weird.
Hung Over the next morning, eh???
So let's see- you've seen the house, heard him sing, been to church....OMG are you ENGAGED???
Is it odd that yesterday, the comments were all like "kick him to the CURB!" And one little chastisement by the Great and Powerful Tess and the comments are leaning towards "MARRY HIM! He is your SOUL Mate!" (Not really, but just a little...)
Personally, I think I fall into the "living vicariously through a chick way more attractive than me and therefore able to interest super-hot-GQ-type-men." The end.
Could you possibly be searching for reasons to not date this guy for fear that you may not move to Boston if you fall for him?
So sounds like dating! CHURCH?
eh hem. Are you def moving?
OK his house was cleany and he's up front about liking you? Those two things right there clear the bar for continued (not)dating to me. The singing+hot factors are also added bonuses.
I totally hear ya on the I-am-definitely-going-to-hell appeal thing. I live in the bible belt/south, am a heathen, and married a churchy type.
Church is so much a recreation thing vs. a strictly religious thing down here that I wouldn't disqualify anyone based on just that.
I am with Mandy, Comment #3. I say take him with you. Those salespeople types can go anywhere, right?
Can we ADDRESS the seeing his house THING?
Sounds to me like you went there after the BAR and then went to CHURCH.
:)
ps. i love this subject by the way.
Dude. What the HELL are you THINKING?? You just ended your relationship with BR and you're moving to the east coast so you thought you'd DATE in the meantime?
Tess, you are one ballsy mutherfucker.
I love that about you.
SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK!! (I'm a little late, I know.)
Is he in the choir at church? Solo? Do they have a band?? (My church does...well, the one I have gone to like twice. FINE. Also, hungover.)
The singing alone might do me in, but there are bonus points for neat.
He sounds pretty cool to me. Clean house is definitely a plus.
For the love of GAWD you guys, I am not "falling for him"!
I did not even MEAN to go on a date with him! This entire situation, I think we can all agree, is inadvisable and horrifying! GAH!
I am loving these comments though, just as much as the last ones. You all are highly suggestible. HEE.
Wow! I have to say, I'd fall for the upfrontyness alone.
The last guy I dated was VERY upfront about liking me, wanting to get married, buy a house and have children. He had me at "like" and we are now married, own a home together and are expecting baby #1.
JUST SAYIN.
GAWD, I hate blogger sometimes! I tried ALL DAY to comment about you and your fake crosses and actual vs. outwards churchiness (as a person raised in TX I totally know what you are talking about and feel myself cringing just rehashing much of it). But blogger had blown up or something. So, now I'm a day short on the commenting.
But I WAS going to say:
1. Mentioning church first thing? Means ACTUAL churchiness, I'm afraid. As long as you're not afraid, that's all that matters. But I'm REALLY afraid now that you've already GONE to church with him and I'm even MORE afraid that he sings in BAND. In CHURCH (sorry everyone...I'm just a choir robe kind of gal). But, this isn't about me. So I don't really know why I'm still typing about this topic.
2. The $40 rule. Is funny. But he probably shouldn't have told you right now. That is one of those "ha ha it is 2 years later and guess what--on our first date I broke one of these 'rules' I had with my friends ha ha" funny. NOT quite so much on the first date. But I can get past this.....he is probably funny.
I'm guessing you aren't going to move. Just a hunch.
He doesn't PLAY IN A CHURCH BAND, or anything.
He used to play in a (non-churchy) band. And he wasn't singing ONSTAGE at church. We were both just standing there, drinking coffee and praying for death. And singing. You know, typical church stuff.
See, your appreciation of singing is a bit surprising. If someone sang for me, I'd probably shatter into 100s of pieces and die. HATE!
and dude, why were you at church?
I was there because the night before, as we were consuming $80 worth of alcohol, it seemed like a GREAT IDEA! We should GO TO CHURCH TOMORROW! I'm sure we'll both totally be 100% by 9 am, even though it is now 2 am!
Oy.
I'm loving living the single life through you! Going to church hungover after a first date! LOVE IT.
The churchiness? Totally not a deal breaker for me, back in the days when I dated (Though this might be shocking as I am a NOT churchy agnostic). Churchiness comes in all flavors. I did however abruptly end a date when the guy told me, APROPOS OF NOTHING, that Oliver North and Richard Nixon were his all time HEROS. I should have known better; the dude picked me up at the gym by asking if I needed a weightlifting spotter *WINK WINK*. GAG.
Ah for the love.... I didn't "think it through"!
I meant to type "I am agnostic and NOT a churchy person" or something that would actually MAKE SENSE. ARG.
well damn - have fun then and go for it! does he have a bro in st. louis by chance??
He sounds fun, actually. And Catholic. Who else drinks and talks about church at the same time! Catholics do! (I know, I am one and spend EASTER SUNDAY at an Irish Bar, right after mass. And closed it down. Hee!)
I find it totally hysterical that you dip your toe into dating for the first time after the D and you end up with dinner, $80 bar tab, seeing his house, hungover at church and hear him sing - THAT my friend must be some kind of world record! Score Tess!
Dude.
I'm still laughing about the 'He doesn't play in a CHURCH BAND...'
OMFG, that's funny.
p.s. DEWAI!
Hey Tess- let's back up to why and how you know his house is so clean. Hmmmmmm? :)
The $80 bar tab makes me officially withdraw my awkwardness about the $40 dinner. (Also: awesome. I also once went on a date that resulted in a bar tab that was double the dinner tab. It was, in my view, an excellent allocation of the date dollars.)
Hmmm...I notice that we are not getting an explanation of how Tess saw his house....
God. I SO want to ask the obvious question.
Miz S- OMG ME TOO. I'm guessing it's "no," though.
I like that he's divorced and has a daughter. Now I'm imagining all kinds of Brady Bunch Lite scenarios. How old is the daughter? For best TV, she should be the same age as your daughter.
Hey, thanks for guessing "NO"! SWISTLE IS THE NEW FAVORITE.
His daughter is 6.
Seems to me that "at bar with $80 alcohol" and "hungover" and "plans together in the morning" = I'm guessing MAYBE!
I just can't imagine going out, getting duh-runk, and then saying "Oh my god - that was a lot of fun! Why don't you go to YOUR house, and I'll go to MY house, and then? when we have nothing in particular to repent for in the morning? Let's meet back up and go to church together!"
Although I also cannot imagine and $80 alcohol night and then "A guess of Yes" and then thinking "Hey, that was great - let's go to CHURCH together now!"
Except that would explain the praying for death in church part...
I'll crack this case yet!
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