Oh, and just FYI, if you are in a certain kind of Mood, such as the type that might cause you to pen one of the most pathetic blog posts KNOWN TO MAN, do you know what movie you should probably take a pass on? Seven Pounds, featuring the typically adorable and delicious Will Smith. I am JUST SAYING.
Tess, exiting the theater: Cheery. I feel SO MUCH BETTER now.
Tess's sister: RIGHT? We should have seen the one where the fucking DOG DIES.
Tess: *pitiful staring off into space*
Tess's sister: Well, time for a cocktail.
ANYWAY! I'm off task, AS USUAL, when what I really wanted to talk about is the fact that this is the first Monday of the new year, and you know what that means! HEALTH KICK SEASON! AIEE!!!
First, here are some of the health kick shows that wil be clogging my DVR this month:
Ruby-I love this show. It could be my favorite health kick show EVAH, no lie. I want to be besties with Ruby. She says "what the helicopter" instead of WHAT THE HELL! Come on. That is awesome.
Dietribe-First of all, why has no one thought of this title for a health kick show before? The best the network execs typically come up with is shit like "The Biggest Loser" and "I Lost It!". Gah. Anyway, this one hasn't started yet (it starts TONIGHT), and I think it stars a group of friends and yadda yadda, but more importantly, it stars THESE ARMS:
Incidentally, the website for this show practically begs you to email Arms McGee and "ASK JESSIE ANYTHING!". Oh boy. I'd love to be the intern sifting through THAT inbox.
Discovery Health National Body Challenge-This again. I don't know what to say, other than that it's, like, TRADITION at this point? I dunno. There's always some sad sack who whips him or herself into a Regulation Hottie, and you know how I love that crap.
So, how are you guys celebrating today? As always, if you are on a health kick this year and are going to be writing about it, post a link in the comments, STAT. Bonus points if it includes some kind of inadvisable slash INSANE plan, such as a 40-day juice fast or similar (OH PLEASE GOD).
Edited to add: Someone brought a CAKE to the office this morning. On First Monday! WHO DOES THAT? Pull your head out of your ass, Passive Aggressive Cake Lady!
28 comments:
OK, my health kick shift right now is that I think I'm going to quit Weight Watchers. NOT the health kick itself, but the big corporate thing that charges me $18/month. One last recipe-printing binge and then it's me and a bunch of free online tools. I will be posting about this more in depth on my Bodies in Motivation blog.
I'm starting the new year just trying to be healthier in general. You know, less cheetos more vegetables. I'll probably be posting about it.
I want to start working out, but tax season ALSO is starting, so. . . hm.
I love Ruby so much.
Not going on any health kick HOWEVER I am going to try and cut back on the coke intake (as in cola. . .not illicit drug!). We are having the investiture for three judges today followed by a reception so yeah, we'll be having cake and who knows what other crap today so I feel your pain on that one.
Totally off topic here but did you watch the new dance show last night? I've got it on DVR.
WHAT NEW DANCE SHOW?
Ok, I'll try Ruby, but I was third-degree-BURNED by Half Ton Mom. That show had a Marley-esque ending and I was Not Prepared. Success stories! I want success stories!
Oh no, the new dance show is just...no. It's HORRIBLE. Michael Lord of the Dance Flatley is the LEAST CHARISMATIC HOST EVER. Truly. And I don't know where they found these dancers, but I call bullshit on this "best dancers of their country" nonsense.
But I'm still probably going to watch it again. Sigh.
Oh, and I'm that cake lady in my office. I didn't even think about it! I had leftover cookies from a pre new year's batch, and people normally like it when I bring in cookies, and now I feel like a diet-undermining heel. First day back at work: FAIL!
I love that it's "First Monday." LOVE. It has a NAME!!
Maybe your cake lady is on a health kick of her own? A LIVE Health-Kick right there in her office! You should go ask her. Because it wouldn't be awk. at all. ;)
I'm on one, but I think you knew that.
her office = your office
(I didn't think it through FTLOG)
I am eating out of a bag of Combos AS I WRITE. Also: thawing a tub of cookie dough. First Monday is a spectator sport.
I'm sort of in the middle of a health kick that started a few months ago, but the holidays and bitter cold have sent me into a slump and I need to kick it up a notch.
Also, this Ruby show? Must watch.
I love Ruby! Definitely my favorite health kick show, too. I just tivo'd diettribe and national body challenge, so it looks like it's going to be all weight loss shows all the time around here. Everyone is going to be thrilled.
I'm on a health kick this year and am writing about it. I can't promise inadvisable plans, but I can promise that the whole thing makes me crazy.
http://fittogethernow.com/
Cake? Must be someone who has already failed at the resolution...or one of those people who can eat nothing but crap and still be skinny. I hate those people. A lot.
I think it's called superstars of dance and premiered last night on NBC. I think it's coming back on tonight too. I don't know much else about it. . . but I wouldn't doubt that what pseudostoops said is correct...it looked pretty bad, but I'm willing to give any dance show a shot!
Well, my oven broke, so there are no baked goods whatsoever in the house. I also woke up early today to do my first day of the 30 Day Shred. If my new oven doesn't come for another month and I keep up with the Shred, I should be smokin' by this time next month!
My plan is to order everything I see advertised on TV to help me get fit: Bender Ball, Crunchless Abs, Flirty Girl Fitness, to name a few. I already own Zumba, Tae Boe (8 different versions), and Windsor Pilates. Gah!
I am doing the 30 day Shred. On Day 5 right now and I hate that b*tch. I turn on the DVD and start the Jumping Jacks and think WHY WHY WHHYYYY did I turn this on?
But then I finish it, rub ointment on my sore muscles and pass up the Reese cups. (Shrug) You never know. This could work.
i'm not on a NEW health kick so much as a "holy shit perhaps i'd better get down to business on that health kick i 'started' months ago because my pants are getting tight and i hate every picture of me right and every article of clothing i own." so.. uh.. yeah. nothing new, just actual motivation to GO to the gym now. LAMEBALLS, i know.
I love Ruby too, but I think it's over. There were only 9 episodes, and I think that's what's already aired. I would LOVE to see a Season 2, but I guess that's a little premature at this point.
I am contemplating a health kick, but would probably not write about it on my blog. Would you like your own personal email updates? (OMG SOOOOO KIDDING!)
Um. YES! I would! Or at a minimum, Facebook status updates.
The Husband, Mad Hatter that he is, bought a Wii Fit over Christmas so that's what I'm doing. Oh, and also, a friend of mine is my fitness buddy only she kicks my TRASH every other day.
Good times...
I am cracking up at Swistle.
Also going to work out for the first time in, oh, let's not go there. It's just, see, well I needed to do it anyway, but now apparently I have a wedding dress to fit into, or something? Still not totally sure, as I would prefer to elope and spend that money on an exotic vacation. Perhaps return from said vacation and treat friends and family to cookout, or somesuch, and TELL them that's our idea of a wedding. In other words, screw you wedding industry, screw you.
Wait! Where was I going with this? Oh right, now I want to watch Ruby too!
OMG! I love Ruby! I don't anyone else who watches it. I always say that Ruby makes me feel good about myself. LOL.
She's super sweet though.
I was out of the office from December 18th until today (glorious) and I returned to a bunch of Christmas candy on my desk that was gifted to me by various coworkers during the week of Christmas. So I spent First Monday eating chocolate (so much chocolate) for breakfast. I am decidedly NOT on a health kick. (This was evident when the first thing I consumed on Jan 1 was a mimosa and nachos.)
Oh, man, have I MISSED YOU.
I am slow to get on the Resolution Train. I'll let you know when I hop on!
I love Ruby, too. I am currently on a reverse health kick, in that I have stopped exercising, I'm eating worse AND I'm sick. Maybe I'll start kicking again when I get over this shitty sore throat, cough and holy crap! the snot thing.
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