Wardrobe Fail: This shirt makes me look like a fucking COBRA. Do not try to talk me out of it. SSSSSSSSSS!
Friendship Fail: Tube Map playing cards I bought for Artemisia when I was in London. FIVE MONTHS AGO. Also, they have been chewed on BY MY DOGS.
Mental Health Fail: One of the many notepads in my office, victimized by my disgusting neurotic "page fluffing" habit.
Motivation Fail: Massive pile of items to be filed, sitting juuuuuust outside the ACTUAL FILING CABINET
Minimalism Fail: Beverage receptacle graveyardAnd this is just the stuff IN MY OFFICE, you guys. Imagine the opportunities for failure in my house, or (oh god) IN MY CAR.
40 comments:
I kind of like the shirt...and your accessorized?? And no sports watch??
I like the shirt too. :) But maybe it's because it reminds me of the one I wore to Austin. Granted, that had more of a pirate thing goin on, but whatever.
And I really like how you can see a lipstick smudge on the coffee mug on the right.
I'm not sure you're ready to move to Boston. I'm not sure they allow that shirt outside of Texas.
And yet... I am drawn to it. It is absolutely mesmerizing. How does anyone else get work done when you wear that shirt?
I dig the cobra shirt. It says don't mess with me, in a fashionable way.
I have the same beverage receptacle graveyard, down to the KMPG mug and everything.
I like the shirt too! It does have a cobra quality, but you make it work. I agree with Alias Mother. You won't be wearing that shirt in Boston in January! God Bless Texas!
Definitely cobra... or perhaps flamenco dancer?
I have about 4 years of paid bills waiting to be filed at home like that, and a pile of mail a foot tall that needs to be gone through and mostly be thrown out (probably).
I'm not fond of the shirt, but I'm a fashion failure and fear things that I might have to fuss with.
I have a similar beverage grave yard.
And the filing, I took up scanning all documents a year ago and no longer have to file just insert in Shred-it box.
Ugh, I HATE filing. If my current job required more of it there would be a pile just like that in my cube. Except it would probably be taller, for I am that lazy.
i had a mild anxiety attack getting into my car this morning, because i suddenly realized it looks like someone's car who has that clutter disease, where they can't throw anything away, so they just pile it up and pile it up and pile it up. that or like i live in my car. EITHER WAY it's not good.
i, uh, sort of love that shirt. i can totally take it off your hands for you, if you want.
Aren't you the boss? Can't you pawn that filing pile onto someone else?
P.S. The shirt isn't bad... and your necklace is way cute!
YOU ARE SO WEARING J. CREW. I shall take the credit. Obvs.
I agree I like the shirt and accessories... If I could wear something sleeveless these days but fatty post pregnancy arms are NOT pretty in that regard!
I was also going to say what Mimi said - DELEGATE the filing to some intern?!
I like the shirt very much. I am also very jealous because you are able to wear said shirt, in all its arm-baring glory, while I am up here in the frozen hinterland wearing long underwear, two shirts and a sweater, and wool socks.
Also, I have the same to-be-filed pile. It is big. And kind of falling over. I'm thinking of naming it.
Unless you have two empty drawers, I don't see how those pile will even fit in the filing cabinet. I often give a huge to-be-filed pile to one of my students who has enough spare time to check Facebook every 5 minutes. Therefore my filing system is... unique.
Ewww. The wet page corners OMG I MIGHT DIE.
They're not WET, they're just...dirty. From my thumbs. Uh, not that that's any better.
I KNOW, okay? It's disgusting. And disturbing. And I have been doing it rabidly for TWENTY YEARS.
Ugh my filing pile looks about the same, if you add at least one more pile of equal height and yet, I'm doing nothing about it. Other things seem more pressing - like reading blogs...
Also, in case you can't tell by the picture, it's actually TWO piles, side-by-side. It, uh, wouldn't stay up if it was one giant pile.
Tess--tellmetellmetellme about the page-fluffing. Although I've never called it that? I sort of, pull back the pages of any stack of paper I'm reading and sort of, let them zzzhip back from whence they came.
The corners of my books look, uh, like that and I'm thinking DAMN. I didn't even CONSIDER putting that in my Mental Glitch post. lmao.
TNG-YES! That is it EXACTLY! I do it to books too. Notepads, books, magazines, WHATEVS.
We are so Glitch Twins. I have never met anyone else witht eh Page Fluffing Glitch. Creepy. Slash awesome.
I LOVE subway maps!!! Of course, I am partial to NYC subway maps, but a British Tube map! Ooooooooooh.
Otherwise, I agree with everything everyone else already said (the nerve of your bare arms while I'm freezing; that shirt will not fly in Bahston; I have a pile of similar size/girth; get some minion to file; etc.)
well I caught up on all my filing when I had to move offices and now I don't have ROOM to leave it in stacks. I used to hide my stacks in discreet corners though.
My beverage receptacle graveyard has the same number of receptacles but they're all big water mug type things so it looks way worse . . . and stuff occassionally (or, you know, FREQUENTLY) spills out of my car when I open the doors and a breeze is blowing. So . . . now I feel bad and want to clean out my car at lunch. and maybe take some dishes to the kitchen . . . we won't even think about the house
And also I like the shirt. and now I have Paula Abdul's Cold Hearted Snake song stuck in my head. not that I think you're cold hearted. and not that I'm prone to rambling . . .
Texxie:
1) The shirt: do you work in a bar? No?
2) The page fluffing/flipping thing..wanna hear gross? You know what I do with corners/edges of post it notes? Run them under my fingernails like a nail file. You're welcome.
3) I am not all that good at space relations, but I am a secruhterry, and that pile of paper is not going to fit in that file cabinet, unless it is empty.
loveyakaybye (don't care if you move to boston, btw)
Do you ever get caught taking pictures in your office?
Nah. My office has a door, and besides, everyone I work with is like 60 so I doubt they even know you can TAKE pictures with something as newfangled as your MO-BILE PHONE.
I kind of like the shirt, cobra or no!
I've got the pile of things to be filed, too. Fortunately (or unfortunately) business is getting so slow that I will probably have time to file.
The shirt...Well, the frilly part looks like wrinkled tissue paper. I do not mean that in a negative way; it's just what I'm seeing. But I'm not seeing cobra! :)
The beverage thing is a real plague of mine as well. My car is generally where travel mugs go to die. I have one travel mug that still has its lid, and the only reason that's the case is because it's actually my husband's and he would kill me if I lost the lid.
That is a shitload of filing! Hire an intern/slave and get them to work!
If your car looks anything like mine, I'm scared for you.
Hilarious. I love the fail blog, great idea for a post!
You will now officially be known as Tess; Codename Cobra.
This post is brilliant. I may have to steal this idea. Also: WANT SHIRT. Is adorable. Unfortunately, I have linebacker shoulders, which would probably not work well with that particular style. But on you: super adorable.
Shut the fuck up. You look positively SAUCY in that shirt. My office, is of course, anally neat. Except when it's not. Which is now. I play the tax season card. Which has not been chewed by a dog.
This is awesome. The shirt totally makes you look like a Cobra.
I remember you doing that to all of your books in college!
Page fluffing? Huh. Never heard of it before.
I love the shirt! I really do. It doesn't say Cobra to me....but more....Malificent (from Sleeping Beauty). We watch it 130,368 times a day, so I should know.
Also, my HOUSE has a "to file" pile that large and I HATE it. I just keep moving it around and covering it with things. Like piles of coats. Try that.
I like your shirt.
And I like The Cobra Theory (for hilarity, not accuracy).
So I will see your Cobra...and raise you a: One of those poorly crafted, crinkly, aluminum New Year's crown thingies which immediately scrape the top layer of skin off your ears and give you a headache.
PS - what the HAM is page fluffing??
The shirt is actually kind of assaulting! Like I would feel intimidated by you in that shirt!
I have the same beverage receptacle problem,sad to say.
Man. They have it in our workplace manual that we can't leave beverage containers on our desks. They're SO PICKY. I dislike that I can't have stacks of cups. I thrive in stacks of cups.
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