So, we have a few housekeeping-type issues festering here (EW!), don't we?1) At some point, I'm going to need pseudonyms for the artists formerly known as AD and BR. Nothing cutesy, although Hellbeast and The Steamrollah ARE tempting. I'm thinking I'll go with Carlos for BR, which is the name my boss has called him FOR YEARS, despite the fact that it bears NO RESEMBLANCE to his real name. But you know those Fake Hispanics. They all look the same. And have the same 3 or 4 names, so tomato/tomahto.
What of AD, though? I'm tempted to just use her real name, which most of you KNOW ANYWAY GOD THIS IS BEATING ME DOWN. Sigh. I like the middle name thing, but her middle name is considerably less popular than her first name, and also happens to be the name of a relative, so...that doesn't really feel right either. I dunno. This is already more thinking than I'm prepared to do on the topic. I'm taking suggestions, is what I'm getting at. Who knows, there could be a certain calculator in it for ya.
2) Facebook. I'm on it. I'm not going to link to this blog from there, because I don't want my MOM and other shady-type characters reading, but I would be pleased and honored to be YOUR Facebook friend, if you are so inclined. Just in case, for example, you are collecting Facebook friends in a slightly/incredibly pitiful attempt to accumulate more than your ex-boyfriend's current wife. Oh wait. That's me.
(You: *concerned look*)
Oh shut up. Everyone knows your number of Facebook friends is directly proportional to your worth as a person.
49 comments:
If I do succumb to the Facebook thing, I will certainly friend you. I have seriously considered joining Facebook lately, though I have no idea why.
Oh, God. I have twelve facebook friends, half of whom are family members. Total loser.
I disagree about the number of friends thing, only because I have TONS of Facebook friends. It's just because I was in college when it started! I grew with it from the ground up. Thus, I have over 600 friends.
Wait. But I'm not on Facebook. Nor do I plan to be. I am bucking the establishment, giving it to the Man. Something.
Or, you know, laziness. That is a distinct possibility.
Jess-You are approx. 370% better than me, as a person. Yeah, that actually sounds about right. MY THEORY STANDS.
Misty-GIVING IT TO THE MAN. Snort!
It is indeed tempting to join fb just so I can help you with the friend count because I'm ALL ABOUT helping someone beat out the ex-boyfriend's wife at ANYTHING!!!
But since I don't have one, I guess that means my worth as a person is well. . .nothing?? That's about right for the way I've felt all week. There is a bottle of wine with my name on it tonight, no doubt!
And on the name suggestion thing . . how about Thing 1 and Thing 2??? or perhaps that's a little impersonal. Okay, this comment has gone on long enough.
I totally want to be your facebook friend. But damnit I can't find you since I don't know your fake spanish last name! You big tease!
Hmm. This taking suggestions for pseudonyms thing is on my brain. I personally think this is one for Swistle. But I'll throw a few out there: (um, they're all for AD though, because Steamrollah is perfect for BR and must be left to stand)
-something fake Hispanic-y (i.e. Rosalita) since she has the bloodline and all
-Neveah, because it cracks me right up (sorry, everyone whose kid is named that. It's pretty and all. It's just backwards.)
-Tex-Mex
I LOOOOOOVE calling BR "Carlos" -- LOVE IT.
I think you should just call AD her real name. WHATEVA!
Or, you could call her "Y'all."
You guys, believe me when I say that, unfortunately, it is WICKED EASY to find me on Facebook with just my first name (T-E-S-S-I-E), but if you're still having trouble, just email me.
But srsly. I'm the first search result. ACES. You're WELCOME, Googlestalkers.
I'm with Karen, I'd be your friend, if only I knew your fake hispanic last name. Maybe you could find me, I'm in the "Lamar" network, and my picture has me sticking my head in a dinosaur's mouth!
I just have to say again that I am SO GLAD you are back. My day is much better with a little dose of Tess.
I feel honored to be your Facebook friend already. I found you through Swistle's friends, if that is helpful to anyone. (Just trying to help your numbers and all.)
Unfortunately, I have no good suggestions for a pseudonym for AD. I agree that Swistle would be the one to ask.
I LOVE Steamrollah and Hellbeast. Brilliant. And I'm proud to already BE your Facebook friend. I would subscribe to your "number of FB friends equals worth" theory except that I have more friends on FB than in real life, so it would depress me.
hee! i like rosalita!
i'm one of those obnoxious types that won't friend people i don't know (bloggers count as people i know, however) so i believe i currently have more photos tagged of myself than i have friends. AM AWESOME.
I am totally in deep shit if the facebook thing is true. However I could double my number if I randomly clicked on people I am avoiding in order to be friends with them but ahhh avoiding is the key word back there! I would be proud to be your FB friend because you are not on the avoid list (yet!)
I say real name since her name is so common anyway (if I am remembering her name correctly of course...)
I don't know why, but I love "Rosalita" from desperate housewife.
LOVE.
You know, I only recognized your new blog name because the picture associated with it was the same as your Facebook pic. Har.
I'm not good with names, but please O god don't use something cutesy because it is so freaking distracting. Top of list for most hated pseudonames? Girl and Boy. UGH. And I know they're popular, so this is prettymuch just confirming my unpopular opinion on everything.
I love Carlos for BR, and I def. think AD needs a fake-hispanic name too- How about Rosita (ala Sesame Street)? Or Maria? Or for an ironic, opposite-of-Hellbeast twist- Angel (said the spanish way, of course). Esme? Flor? Lolita?
Pepita? Or, I know, Ramona!!!
Oh, I'm really loving Ramona! It's fake hispanic- reminds me of the Ramones, and also implies inherent toddler like qualities (as in Ramona the Pest.)
Man, I love naming people.
(Can't wait to see what you decide!)
(RAMONA!)
Um, when I type in Tessie, the first result I get is some model who looks like she just got laid. If that's you I'm jealous.
still searching for your facebook...I feel like a "fake" reader because I haven't been commenting...I don't have a blog...I just like reading them and participating...I love reading all of your perspectives Tess! I am so glad that you are back and I really have wondered how you are (everytime I saw your OLD blog STILL in my Reader! NOT a skimmer!!)
I get the same as Laura...Tessie/model/laid...I wondered if it was your COVAH!
I will try to find you in the Facebook jungle.
I vote for AD's middle name because I know she shares it with my baby girl. (You told me so ages ago on my blog.)
First comment ever! I think!
Searching for you on facebook gives me 324532 Tess-es who all live in my city. I think that you only show up first for people in your network. NEED MOAH TO GO ON.
Glad i'm not the only one having problems! I may be closer to getting you than others since I live in Texas...the first person who shows up is also friends with 3 of my friends. I'm so scared that I'll try to befriend some random Tess.
Dude, I don't know what to tell you!
When I type in "Tessie" to in the Search Facebook box, I am the first result that comes up. TRUE STORY. Is there some...ALTERNATE FACEBOOK UNIVERSE or similar?
You can always email me. Even *I* am not dumb enough to put my last name in the comments. Heh.
A hint! I found her..because I remembered her college! If you aren't a skimmer you can find her!!
YAY!
Now, befriend me Tess!
Easily found. Friends?
If you are calling BR Carlos DeLaHellbeast, can I henceforth call you Carmen Garcia Marquez Vasquez ?
PS - SOME of us don't even HAVE 7-11's where we can buy nifty chocolate scented calculators. You ungrateful bastard.
I do like Ramona. Like Ramona The Brave.
And I can't find you. Facebook is HAARD.
I found you, sporting the coffee cup I can't even get where I live (BOO HOO). I hope you'll befriend seldom-commenters!
And I love Ramona too.
I like Tex-Mex. Or better yet - Tess-Mex for AD. My 2cents.
Yeah - I was not with the Facebook thing for a bit. You know what's annoying though... when your husband is "friends" with MY "friends"!!!! Not cool!
I've only recently become facebook competitive because of my social butterfly husband, who didn't even WANT to join but did because I made him, and then proceeded to accumulate a crapload of friends in the first, like, HOUR that he was a member. Whatever. He was in a fraternity. *stomping off to scrounge up some friends*
I use a mixture of real and fake on my site (DUH. OBVIOUSLY) ... so Grayson is my son's real name and moo is ... uh ... a pseudonym. In case you couldn't tell.
I like Carlos for the x.
And just use A-V-A for the girl. I mean SHEESH. It's not that uncommon anymore and it's beautiful and it's her name. Or call her Eva. Or Ada. If you are extra paranoid.
There are some really interesting pics of Tess's and Tessie's on Facebook...just saying.
This is a fun little mission. Wow - I have a boring life.
Tess- when you search on facebook, it pulls up all the people in your network first, so only people in your network will get you at the top of the list by typing in T-E-S-S-I-E. I'm in the Mpls/St.Paul network, and therefore you are not at the top of my list...
Facebook alternate universe mystery- SOLVED!
I love Facebook. Internet-stalking old classmates was so much harder before this interface which actually encourages people to post information about themselves online. Facebook makes it easy and I want to know everything about everybody, so I adore it for that.
Also, I want to disagree with you on the whole Facebook-friends worth-as-a-person idea, just on principle... but on the other hand my younger sister who is a total genius and also is Living Up to Her Potential so fully that it makes me tired just thinking about it... has 859 Facebook friends. So maybe you are actually right about this.
O..M...G just re-found you through a comment at Jonniker. I was all "that sounds just like *that* Tessie.
So glad you are back! Even though "Carlos" probably won't be so prominently featured, it's a good pseudo. AD's name is so beautiful - wish you would use it if you are comfortable doing so!
Oh Helicopter! I should have done my homework and read the whole back story. I've gone and used the forbidden T-word in comments.
Feel free to delete away and so horribly sorry (sorry!)
First of all, I just searched Facebook with your first name and you were almost at the top of the list- even tho you aren't anywhere near my network. (But we did have Swistle as a mutual friend, so that may have helped!) So -YAY- I found you!
Second, I totally love Carlos for BR's new name. If you want to stick with similar-to-real, but also kinda fake Hispanic, AD could be Anna, maybe?
Why don't you use Elena for AD? You like it (or did, am assuming still do) and it's fake-hispanic-y.
I refuse to join Facebook (though I reserve the right to change my mind at which point we will never speak of this again).
For your daughter - How about a symbol, like Prince took on. "The daughter formerly known as AD"?
I vote for Carlos and Hellbeast!! Carlos is just hilarious b/c of the whole fake hispanic thing, but steamrollah is excellent too. Hellbeast has always made me smile since she is so NOT a hellbeast. At least not when I see her. ;-)
Oh man, I just found you again today and I am SO EXCITED you are back. I didn't comment very often, but you had better believe that your entries used to entertain me at work to no end. So glad you're back in action!
I'm so glad you're back because you MAKE ME LAUGH!
If I send you a friend req. on facebook are you going to be like, "OH YEAH *THAT* Annoying Commenter?"
Agh more incentive to join Facebook. Have been avoiding it because, let's face it, I don't need to be reminded on the internet that I don't have a ton of friends. May have to think about it AGAIN though. Sigh.
No suggestions for pseudonyms because I think it's one of the things that keeps me from just doing my own blog - thinking of pseudonyms and a blog name? Exhausting!
Carlos fits him. And then I vote for using her real name, or maybe a variation starting with an E?
Hey, I got roped into Facebook, guess I'm gonna have to look you up!
As for the pseudonym thing, I have no clue. I rather suck at that, since my family is oh-so-creatively referred to as N, AE and Miss T. Um, yeah.
I sort of like Ramona, too.
& I'm glad to already be your FB friend, though I have many more FB "friends" than IRL friends. What does that say about me?
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