Jesus H. Christ, you guys, I'm not going on some awesome tropical vacation. I WISH. Once again, I think I've dramatically oversold The Thing. Either that, or you all are attempting to live vicariously through me, in which case you will soon regret that decision now that we're on this healthkick.
Not to harsh your contact high, but we're going up to the lakehouse, with the kids. We ARE having a party, though, OF AN UNDISCLOSED NATURE, on the 4th. (hehehe)(ftlog, the smart money is on a 4th of July party, IS IT NOT?)
At any rate, I managed to stay somewhat affixed to the wagon yesterday (there was wine, but also training), so I guess the healthkick is on. This is me excited. Here we are in Delaware.
So far my preparations have included shopping for spaghetti squash and angrily paging through the Diets That Work! edition of US Weekly. Horrors! I am terribly sorry, US Weekly, but Kelly Ripa is not a fucking size 2. Unless you meant 2T. I mean, she's perfectly lovely and cute as a button, blah blah Policycakes, I'm just SAYIN.
Also, I purchased some buffalo burgers at Costco! What are the chances that I can sneak THOSE past Tosc? I'm thinking at least 50/50, provided I take them out of the box before he gets home and also top his with cheese and a fried egg (classic ToscBurger). I'm hoping to avoid a redux of the time I tried to replace his regular mashed potatoes with mashed CAULIFLOWER. Hoo boy. He's got his eye on me after that debacle, which involved a grown man SPITTING OUT FOOD that was in no danger of causing anaphylaxis. I beg your pardon, your highness! I had no idea cruciferous vegetables were POISONOUS if not expelled immediately through the nearest orifice!
Anyway. On the bright side, we BOTH exercised yesterday! How about them apples? Actually, I worked out with my trainer while Tosc WATCHED FROM A NEARBY TREADMILL. Gawd almighty. Nothing like having your hot male trainer stretch your hammy while your boyfriend looks on. Sounds like the intro to a bad porn movie. In my defense, there were no UGLY trainers to choose from! Swearsies! They all look exactly the same: standard beefcake, dark hair, buzzcut, no facial hair. You know, Trainer Ken. Preeeetty much interchangeable.
Welp, we've covered Kelly Ripa, mashed cauliflower, and bad porn! I'd say the healthkick posts are a raging success so far!
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21 comments:
We eat those buffalo burgers from Costco on a regular basis. YUM.
Also, I almost spit out my Greek yogurt when I read the comment about Kelly Ripa wearing a size 2T. Oh my.
There is no excuse for that damn mashed cauliflower crap. Team Tosc.
oh. em. gee. I am dying thinking about him spitting out mashed cauliflower. Priceless!
raging success, indeed! will be interested to hear what kinda torture your trainer puts you thru. today i have the OMG Calf/Ham Pain Shuffle. nice
talking about buffalo anything just makes me think about the buffalos at a park/farm/zoo thing near our house. O keeps telling me about the buffalo that was trying to get a piggy back ride from its daddy - talk about bad porn!
totally off topic! yeah healthkick! mashed cauliflower! grown men spitting out food! good stuff. sorry there is something wrong with me today
Good Gawd, girl. You kill me. The entire Tosc cauliflower paragraph had me in stitches. Men are idiots.
I do believe I will go to the gymn on my lunch break.
Oh - this might re-instate cauliflower as a Suitable Sidedish for Tosc:
Roast Cauliflower until lightly browned
Take some curry powder (no idea how much, just eyeball based on amount of cauli), warm it in some oil to "awaken" it (jesus)
Stir in cocunut milk to the curry
Simmer a bit.
Pour over roasted cauli and then bake for about a half an hour.
INSANELY YUMMY. Tastes nothing like regular/steamed cauliflower. Really!
Artemisia-that sounds AMAZING. I know I would love it, I think Tosc is permanently off cauliflower (eye roll).
FTLOG the mashed cauliflower has butter, garlic, greek yogurt, AND cheese! It's fucking delish! What the hell is wrong with you people?
mmm, i love buffalo burgers! and i mean, it's not like you're subbing veggies for meat here... buffalo is still made of animaly deliciousness! my bf is wary of anything that once grew in the ground, but as long as it once had a heartbeat he will eat it in any form.
Team Tosc on the mashed cauliflower! Cauliflower has NOTHING in common with potatoes!
And am I the only one who noticed that Tess did not deny the suggestion that she and Tosc are getting married on the 4th? Just the tropical vacation? Hmmmm....
I'm actually quite curious about the 4th "party" too. Tess, you are KILLING us! Are you engaged????
(Sorry, sorry! So nosy! So curious!)
I'm team cauliflower, all the way. And that curry recipe has me drooling.
I want to try the mashed cauliflower myself- but am afraid. I LOVE mashed potatoes and love cauliflower but don't see how in HECK they could ever be interchanged.
Send me/post your recipe?
Plzzzzzzzzz???
Oh- sorry but you should totally try Andrea Ann's Cauliflower pizza recipe- I'll bet you could sneak THAT one past Tosc!!! And it's healthy!!!!
http://www.diaryofamodernmatriarch.com/2010/06/cauliflower-pizza-crust.html
Wait--buffalo's like the equivalent of tofuburgers now? I thought it was MORE beefy, because, like, buffalo are sort of like MORE cow.
Also, is there anyone among us who can actually taste the difference between cow and buffalo? I mean, they're ruminants. They taste like ruminants.
Have been considering trying buffalo burger in our house as well. Please report on how that goes. If it's like MORE cow as Melospiza says I think I can swing it with the spouse. If it's more like tofu shit will hit the fan.
I love mashed cauliflower, Tess, so there, you haters. Especially with cheese and fixin's. If anything it tastes YUMMIER than mashed potatoes.
Solidarity!
Is it possible to like mashed cauliflower if the un-mashed kind makes you want to run away? If so, I'm intrigued.
How do you get the mashed cauliflower to be creamy like potatoes? Mine always turn out, um, lumpy/gritty/grainy or whatev. Otherwise, I like them!
Also, there is something to be said for the Trainer Kens, but I'm thinking you *could* have gone with a Trainer Barbie. You know, for the sake of hammy stretching/Tosc. Heh, yeah, I probably wouldn't have either.
So am I to understand that Kelly Ripa has finally found a diet that works? Gawd.
I get all pissy when one of my kids' friends comes over and refuses to eat something I serve; a grown man spitting out his food? Mercy.
I know I totally lurk and never post, but I have to know if the Delaware thing is a reference to Wayne's World. Heh.
Becky! Yay! I cannot BELIEVE no one else got that. LAME.
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