Ava had her first dentist appointment last week. We decided to bring her to an expensive, kids-only dentist (even though she doesn't have dental insurance ARGG ARGG HULKSMASH), in the hopes that she would have a good first experience and we could later transition her to one of the shady, back alley places the rest of us frequent, nefariously stroking our beards all the while. She did fine, the end. Aaand, BOOM. You just wasted a minute of your life on that paragraph.
Carlos and I are not getting along again! HAHAHAHA! Who had January 5th in the "when will it yet again go south" pool? BIG WINNAH! At the moment, he's not talking to me AT ALL, including ignoring several emails and texts I sent him about some daycare stuff and a birthday party I was supposed to take Ava to this weekend (it's his weekend). Bee tee dubs, can I just tell you what I LOVE? The people who are all, "I wouldn't put up with that shit! He knows he can walk all over you! The next time he texts, I would ignore him right back!" O RILLY? And how, exactly, does that further my purpose? YOU wouldn't put up with his shit? Well, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO? I guess I will just PURGE HIM FROM MY LIFE and go on about my business! OH WAIT. Jesus Christ. I know it comes as a shock to some people, but a) he is not going to stop this behavior and b) there is actually nothing I can do about it.
Did anyone catch that Extreme Couponing show on TLC? MY GOD MAN. Greatness. It's almost inspiring, until you factor in the 10+ hours per day of obsessive research and the hoarding of epic proportions (hundreds of bottles of body wash! for TWO PEOPLE!)
18 comments:
Oh man, so many things to comment on! Wild meat, douchy ex-husband, coupons! But I will settle on the dentist. Bet you didn't see that coming. I love that you forked out the cash in hopes that Ava would have a good experience. I know so many people who LOATHE the dentist and it can be traced back to childhood.
I loved my pediadontist. He had the best aquarium in the waiting room, talked like Donald Duck, and the huge frog with all the prizes?? The Best!
Anyway, good job on that parenting decision. :) Because I know you're really looking for positive affirmation from me (says the one with the toddler currently acting possessed).
TLC, man. Just when you think they have thought of every possible show, they come up with another winner. My goodness.
This behavior from Carlos is why you DIVORCED him. You are now not in a RELATIONSHIP with him, so there is no "teach him a lesson" involved... there is purely "do what is best for Ava," and stooping to his level is NOT best for Ava.
I hate the dentist. He thinks it's because I've had bad experiences, and he's right: dentists keep TAKING MY MONEY UNTIL I HOLLER UNCLE.
I know, I go nuts with all the "I wouldn't put up with that" stuff. O RLY? What is the alternative, considering it's nearly impossible to change a husband, let alone an EX-husband? And would "not putting up with it" cause any CHANGE IN THE SITUATION? No it would not.
I want to coupon, but it's proving to be too much for my pea sized intellect. I did print out 2 formula coupons, and went to target without them. Score! Also, i don't even like body wash. What is wrong with soap? Bah!!
Assvice givers aren't they great? They have so much shit wrong in their own lives, AND YET! They know the most perfect and ideal course of action for you. I'm brittle on your behalf.
I hated my last dentist for a variety of reasons. One thing I didn't hate him for but did think made him look like an idiot is that once he "strongly urged" me to have my wisdom teeth out, but I blew off scheduling an appt even though I valued his advice and meant to do it. But then the next time I saw him he was all, "your wisdom teeth are fine! No need to extract unless they bug you!" IDIOT.
This whole thing is just great. I mean, except for Carlos. But like, the way you talk about it- greatness. And yes, people. SO STUPID. YOU SHOW HIM. HOW TO BE AN ASSHOLE. BECAUSE HE CLEARLY NEEDS LESSONS.
Hog hunting! That's gotta be a Texas thing. Deer hunting is clearly a superior blood sport. After all, they made a movie called The Deer Hunter, but ain't no one pitching "The Hog Hunter" out there in Hollywood.
Carlos sounds like such a dick. Good on ya for divorcing his sorry ass. (I excel at stating the obvious.)
I think I just figured out why I love to read you so much. Your placement of caps words cracks me up! Its like I can just hear myself doing the same thing in conversations.
In other news....The ex sucks a big one. But you already knew that, eh?
I had something to say, but I forgot it because of one of the above comments about how Carlos clearly doesn't need asshole lessons. hahahaha - awesome.
I stumbled upon your blog 4 or 5 months ago, and I have to say that I'm so excited you've been posting more lately. I love your writing and your wit.
As far as Carlos, behaving back in the same manner as he behaves to you doesn't do any good for your daughter. I think it's awesome that you recognize that. Keep up the sanity!
No wait! That came outmuch creepier than I wanted. The guy behind your daughter just made me laugh.
Yep, you really can't do anything except live through it. My ex is just wired wrong. Something is wrong in his head, and from what you've said about Carlos from time to time, I reckon he's on the same level. You'll get through it; you have a safe, happy space at home with your family and he can't take that away from you. My boy missed a birthday party or two, and for FWIW, today is his 18th birthday, his dad has Spurs tickets, and my kid is doing what he prefers: lounging around the house with me and his stepdad. (*I won*) ~Laura
I just can't do coupons. Oh, sure. I can take my scissors to the Sunday paper like a champ....aaaaand that's about as far as it goes. I don't even think I could watch that show. Too much self-loathing would occur.
HOW did I miss Extreme Couponing?? Must find.
Just validating everything you said about trying to get along with a difficult ex. My fav saying: "The only thing I'm surprised by is how I am STILL surprised by his bad behavior."
I do believe that people treat you the way you let them, but sometimes that means you have to cut people out of your life if they treat you in certain ways, and hello, you got divorced, that's really all you can do! You can't change people!
Anyway, I think I saw part of that extreme coupon show. Some guy bought like 1000 boxes of cereal. Sure it only cost him like $5, but you can't eat 1000 boxes of cereal before they rot, so what is the point?!
Oh, the dentist. Yeah, I had "managed" my daughter's dental experiences and things were going great until she swallowed that dental mirror, so just keep in mind that there will always be elements you can't control.
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