So, I just went to pick up Ava for our usual Monday lunch, and she wasn't at school. Sigh. Of course, I didn't know for sure whether she would be there or not, since Carlos won't respond to any of my messages. I could have called the school and asked, but I HATE HATE HATE doing that! It's fucking humiliating. I'm her MOTHER, I should KNOW where she is. I mean, really. So instead I left the daycare, embarrassed and angry and sad, and fucking cried (!!) in the parking lot out of sheer frustration.
This has happened a few times before (not the crying, ftlog, but her not being there on a Monday), when he's been mad at me. I even gave myself a little pep talk, before I left work. "If she's not there, just come back and workout and you will feel better. Try again tomorrow." I guess I WILL try again tomorrow, but I'm going to have to call the fucking school and see if she's there first. And then if she ISN'T, I'll feel like shit all over again and blah de blah second verse same as the first.
I don't know what my point is with this sob story. I realize that this situation has a shelf life. Soon her attendance in school will be MANDATORY, and she will be able to contact me on her own and deal with me separately from her dad.
Maybe she'll be there tomorrow and we can have lunch. Maybe not. Maybe I'll grow richly as a person from this never-ending stream of bullshit.
PFFT.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
I swear to God, a team of newborn MONKEYS could come up with better blog titles.
28 comments:
WHAT THE FUCK? The kid is not a pawn in some game! I mean, maybe they're at home having some wonderful father/daughter time and yay for that, but WHAT THE FUCK?
That fucking sucks, and I agree with what -R- said above.
What a douchenozzle.
OMG. I am actually SEEING SPOTS, I am so angry about this. NOT OKAY NOT OKAY NOT OKAY. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
She BETTER be at school tomorrow, dammit!
That really sucks. But it won't take long at all for Ava to see through that kind of behavior. Kids know, ya know?
I'm sorry, doll. What time do you get off of work? Let me know if you want to meet somewhere near your work for a quick drink. We can just chat (doesn't have to be about this shit) or just sit in silence.
I'm about to head out and do some errands, but you've got my mobile so just call or text me if you're game.
Love you loads!!!
S xoxox
I don't even know what to say. That is just . . . just awful! Definitely douchy behavior of the highest order. But YOU should not feel badly about crying in frustration. I'm a firm believer in getting that shit out! It makes you feel better. HUGS!!!
This is so wrong. Sometimes you gotta wish grown-ups would act like grown-ups.
:(
Best advice I got from one of my girlfriends: "Think of it as daily validation that you made the right decision to divorce him."
Damn. It's infuriating that as the Mom, you don't get to know where your small child is. I am so sorry Tess.
If she's not at school, where is she? Home with him? Doesn't he have to work? What is his DEAL lately, anyway? WHY isn't he talking to you? He can't NOT talk to you, if it's about your daughter. I mean, he can, but he shouldn't. Even when my ex and I are ROYALLY Pissed at each other, and say it's my weekend and he calls and I don't feel like talking to him, I just hand the phone to Sophie. And then when they are done, I hang up the phone. If he texts me to ask me a question about sophie, I will answer. If he sends a douche-bag text, I will ignore.
Also, I would have totally cried too.
And, Sophie's dad often visits her at school and I would tell him if I took the day off or if she's sick and home or whatever.
I typed out a whole screed on how awful he is, but I deleted it, because you already know. You live it. No need for me to add more negativity, he's doing enough for everyone (oops, just a little slipped out, cant help myself!) So I just want to give you an icky Internet hug. I understand what it is like to deal with toxic people, and I'm sorry you can't cut him out of your life.
Anyway, should I mail him an "I can't stand your bullshit" cross stitch anonymously? I can't think of a better candidate.
I think his cross stitch should say "DOUCHE CANOE."
I'm sorry.
This makes me BOIL WITH IMPOTENT RAGE. And it makes me hope his rage makes HIM impotent, too. And also, there is a huge difference between "Angry Frustrated Crying" and "Wussy Little-Girly Crying."
I'm so sorry. I would be absolutely overcome with frustration and rage, and although it's terribly inconvenient in those situations, those two emotions mixed in me ALWAYS equals crying. And I'm all, "I just want to be ANGRY, DAMN IT, not CRYING." Which exacerbates.
What I'm trying to say is, this sucks, so go easy on yourself. You deserve better. Thank god for Tosc.
Oh, hon. This is why martini lunches should still be professionally acceptable.
I agree with akaber--it's a little affirmation of why you left the guy. Because JEESUS. NOT OKAY.
And yes, you should go easy on yourself. What are a few tears in the face of rampant asshole-ism? Evidence of your superior qualities, that's what. As Ava totally knows and appreciates, even if she can't articulate it yet.
No way! I'm so sorry you have to deal with this shit, Tessie!
That pisses me off so hard, Tess. I'M SO FUCKING PISSED OVER HERE. What... what the hell does he DO with her when she's not at school? I mean, I presume he has a JOB? It takes someone with a really small peen to not answers his ex's texts about the LOCATION of HER CHILD. Does that kind of power make him feel big? GAH. LAME. And I cry when I'm mad too, which always makes me madder AND humiliated.
Am I so ridiculously naive that this strikes me as so not okay? Shouldn't he have to tell you if she's not going to school? This makes me seethe with rage. She is a child. She should miss school because she's sick or because it's her birthday and he's doing something fun with her, not because he's trying to piss you off. Can Swistle send him a pinehole bumper sticker?
I'm pretty sure what everyone's saying is that we'll show up on his doorstep and kneecap him for you, if you'd like.
(JUST JOSHING, LAW ENFORCEMENT!)
What a fucking assface.
He sucks.
I hope his new baby, in a horrific show of stunning newborn acrobatic flailing, accidentally vomits all over his balls and then kicks them. Twice.
It could happen.
I'm sorry. Keep being the bigger person. I know it's hard, but it will be so worth it. I promise. I really promise.
That really, really does totally suck. And it's SUPAH DUPAH frustrating that you can't do anything about it.
Supah. Dupah.
Oh man. I can't even put my anger into words. Dude, don't ever feel bad about crying. Sometimes it is the only way to release all those emotions. I hope to god she is there tomorrow. Xoxo
Not that I know any of the How To, but it seems like you need to actually officially start documenting this stuff. With, like some social services or police authority or something. Because it sounds like this kind of thing has the potential to get worse, and a legal upper hand may help you, if nothing else, be enough of a threat to slap him back into line.
I dunno, start with a call to a lawyer on what kinds of documentation carry weight? Or how to build a case?
Is there nothing you can do about this, legally? You're her mother - it would seem reasonable that you should know whether or not she's at school, even if it is 'his day'. Are you to assume that it's just him being a douche, or could she be sick? I agree with the above poster that you might want to start some kind of procedure... just to kick him into reality.
Legally, he's not doing anything wrong. He doesn't have to talk to me and it is his day.
Plus, she's just in daycare so it's not like she's REQUIRED to be there (although that will change once she starts Kindergarten). I assume she's at home. He has a variable work schedule and also Carlosita is still on maternity leave.
Honestly, if we just agreed that neither of us would contact her during the other's time, that would be one thing. It's when we agree on something else and he doesn't follow through that makes it hard. I can't trust him or believe anything he says. (OBV)
I sooo get what you are sayimg. You just want to see your daughter but don't want to make a huge deal about it to him seeing as it is his day and he could make thinkgs WAY harder for you by saying, "Hey, if you are going to bust my balls, how about no contact!"
It sucks nonetheless. He seems to be one of those that when he is mad or feels wronged he takes it out on you using the thing/person that he knows means the most to you. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this, but like you said, Thank God for Tosc.
I'm sorry. That's so frustrating and nnngh-worthy.
Post a Comment