So, yesterday I took Ava to Backyard Burger for lunch, where I was once again reminded that she actually PAYS ATTENTION to what I do. Outstanding.
Listen, I LOVE a good burger. I think that's been well established. However, I'm relatively fussy about bun:nonbun ratio. As a result, I often eat only half of a sandwich bun, or remove it completely if the quality of the burger is high enough. I can do without the bun, in general, is what I'm saying. Hence my glee over the meatwich trend. ANYWAY.
I usually let Ava place her own order at restaurants, which as a former server I FULLY REALIZE is annoying, but I will thank you to SHUT IT. When I was a kid you could have TASED my ass, and I STILL wouldn't have talked to a cashier. Not Ava. Must be the east coast blood, IDK. Anyhoo, she ordered a hot dog kids meal, looked the cashier straight in the eye, and said, "NO BUN. Right, mommy?"
GAH! Throw me under the Food Police Bus, why dontcha! IT HOLDS THE BUN OR IT GETS THE HOSE. Jesus. For the record, I don't ORDER my food without buns, for the love of christ. That's straight-up Fussypants. I just take it as advertised and deal with it at the privacy of my own table! ("what are you doing? I'm REMOVING THE SUPERFLUOUS BUNS!").
So, that Policy thing is going well. Ish.
Anyway, the point of this entire post was to give you my standard fast food orders, as inspired by real-life bestie Aggie:
McDonald's: I never EAT at McDonald's, I only drink coffee. Their bun:meat ratio is completely unacceptable. I do like chicken nuggets though.
Wendy's: Double with cheese, 1/2 bun. Chili instead of fries. Possible frosty chaser, depending on success of Mood Regulation Strategies.
Taco Bell/Bueno: Tosc hates Taco Bell, and always makes me go to Taco Bueno. Don't get me started, because all he ever orders are bean burritos, and WHAT IS THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE? Last time I checked, reconstituted refried beans were PRETTY MUCH A COMMODITY! Ahem. Taco salad.
Jack-in-the-box: Southwest Chicken Salad
Sonic: Extra-long chili cheese coney. Possible PARTIAL bun, but definitely not the whole thing. If you completely SKIP the bun, you don't fully partake in the soaked-in chili cheesy goodness. It's a delicate balance. Such is life.
Chik-fil-a: Chargrilled chicken salad, bleu cheese dressing. No croutons. Fucking croutons are a crime against nature. Stale bread. Now there's a taste sensation I can pretty much do without.
Boston Market: 1/4 dark chicken, caesar salad (86 CROUTONS) or creamed spinach.
I think it goes without saying that I'll be requiring some of YOUR standard orders, particularly if you've got any freaky tendencies you're no doubt passing along to your innocent children.
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Yea! When you said you were composing a blog post I secretly hoped it would include your fast food orders. Greatness. Except your irrational hate of croutons. Srsly. :)
I'm impressed with Ava's ordering. I didn't order on my own until I was about ten. I was the kid who told my mom what I wanted WHILE the waiter was standing right there and then she repeated it. I was soooo shy! I don't want M to be like that.
I can still rattle off what my mom always ordered for me and my sister when we went to McDonald's as children: "two quarter pounders with cheese ketchup only and fries." Haven't had one in years, but it was an INGRAINED order.
I don't get a lot of fast food but when I do I'm fussy. In n Out: grilled cheese with grilled onions, only one slice of cheese (otherwise it doesn't melt enough). Jimmy John's: #6 no mayo add mustard (because mayo is gross.) I'm trying to think of others, but it's been a long time.
Oh if only my parents would have allowed me to order for myself! I hate pretty much all condiments (yes this means ketchup, mayo, salad dressing, etc) and ordering something plain was too much trouble (embarrassment, hassle, shame?) for my folks. Enter chicken mcnuggets.
i've tried to cut out fast food, but mcd's is made of CRACK so i can't seem to stop that completely. when i'm there though, it's ALWAYS a #1. love that creamy mess of disgusting sauce oh so much. i want one right now after talking about it, dammit.
the no bun thing doesn't really work for me since generally I feel like the messier a burger is the better. Steak n Shake needs to get that burger with the cheese SAUCE back on their menu. if Im not ordering a burger with scads of bbq sauce or other drippy messes on it, I usually just get sandwiches on an everything bagel (thats my favorite lunch)
You crack me up!
my orders:
Chipolte: Steak tacos with pico, tomatillo salsa, corn salsa and cheese (they always give me looks for getting 3 of the 4 salsas)
Wendys: Jr cheeseburger deluxe, chicken nuggets with honey mustard and a frostie (clearly I am with you on the proteins over starches thing here)
McDonalds: Bacon, egg and cheese on a biscuit and a coffee with 2 creams and 2 sugars
I think I just had an aneurysm typing all that!
I am your opposite. I am much more likely to eat all the bread and half the meat. ESPECIALLY on a sonic chili cheese coney. I usually make it through about half the hot dog, but partake in all the bread.
Other standard orders:
Chickfila: Breakfast-chicken burrito
Subway: Turkey on wheat all veggies except cucumber and olive.
Which brings up the question--do you like Subway? It IS pretty bread heavy....
I do NOT like Subway in general since I'm not really a sandwich person and their salads suck ass.
My standard order there would be a tuna sub (we call it a catfood sandwich), everything on it, with salt, pepper, and oregano. I would definitely not eat the whole bun.
You forgot Chipotle!
I'm a pretty boring orderer at most places, and I don't actually have a regular order at most, just cycle through the top three most boring options.
Besides, we only have Taco Johns, McDonalds, and Subway here. Oh, and Pizza Ranch. So we don't go out a whole lot...
Yes, but what do you order at Taco Johns?
(I usually get a softshell taco, large potato oles with extra seasoning, and a churro. I require extra seasoning because it seems like if I don't ask for it, they forget to put it on entirely, and then I'm just eating effing TOTS.)
I don't go to most of these places, unfortunately, but on the rare occasions that we order fast food I usually have chicken nuggets. I also avoid the bun because I don't tolerate bread very well, but like you, I take it off myself.
Hmmm....well, Mc Ds is usually out since my hubby hates them...UNLESS I'm by myself and they have McRibs. Then I order TWO-with as little sauce as possible- with an order of fries. I could probably eat 3 or 4 but that's probably how I got to 250 pounds, so those days are over too.
Detest Taco Bell,(Taco HELL I call it)...Wendys- Kids meal. Chick Fil A- Chicken sandwich- no condiments at all!! JITB- Jumbo Jack- no cheese, no condiments. I love love love the ultimate cheeseburger(no bacon no catsup) but at 990 cals for that alone- that will never pass my lips again.
Subway is my fav place to go....
I ALWAYS have the Oven Roasted Chicken Foot-Long:lettuce, onion, tomato, EXTRA OLIVES, salt& peppa,
Parmesan and so little mayo you can hardly tell it's on it. I always eat in- always take the tomatoes off, and always eat half and take the rest home for lunch at work next day. Baked chips to go with, and diet coke.
Man I love me some diet coke.
Dang- now I'm hungry.
I am so wishing I'd stopped at Chick-Fil-A after work for some chicken strips and waffle fries, mmm! I don't eat fast food all that much, sometimes McDonald's (quarter pounder no cheese and fries, are you even allowed to order at Mickey D's without getting fries?), but because there are very very few Chick-Fil-A in MA, I somehow give myself a pass. Like I have to support them or they might go away!
You seriously need to try the chicken selects at McDonalds, you will never eat a nugget again.
My biggest quirk is that I really dont like fries, except as a condiment! I buy fries just so I can put them ON my burgers. Which is why I love when I have company for a fast food run (which is rare), I am all like, can I have 8 of your french fries?
I love that Ava orders.
I usually get the same thing at certain places but try to NOT eat fast food as much as possible, unless it's pizza! I don't have your metabolism OR exercise habits, unfortunately:(
Man, just reading this makes me all drooly. We just don't have the same selection of take away here down under. I can pretty much only relate to the McD's comments (Big Mac or Quarter Pounder, no drink, no fries) because I've never been to any of the others mentioned. Oh, except Subway, which I hate. Their bread smells funny.
Usually when I get take away I tend to get something fresh made, like a prawn sandwich from the local deli style corner shop.
Oh, and now I am starving :)
I was reading along, absurdly interested in what people order from fast food places, when I got to Becky's comment. YOU CAN ORDER EXTRA SEASONING ON POTATO OLES? How did I not know this? I must try this immediately.
I'm odd. I tend to order fries (McD's or Arby's) or tots (Sonic) and take them home to eat with a salad or sandwich of my own making because the craptastic sandwiches at most fast food places aren't worth the calories. If on the road and forced to eat my whole meal from a drive thru, I guess I go with Arby's roast beef or Hardee's mushroom swiss burger. When I was pregnant I craved Jack in the box ultimate cheeseburger which was weird because I hate cheeseburgers - that american cheese food makes me gag. Chick-fil-a makes good nuggets but the waffle fries suck.
I loved this post, and the subsequent comments.
I don't generally like hamburgers, and since a Whopper Jr. was one of the vomits that, eh, particularly STANDS OUT in my memory from this pregnancy, I can safely say that a fast food hamburger is unlikely to pass my lips for a long time.
My definite fave fast food choice in general and when not nauseous is Wendys. I LOVE that spicy chicken shizzle, in nugget form, go wrap, whatever. Their burgers are OKAY I guess, if I have to eat a burger, but I love that chicken. Fries and frosty are great too.
That's pretty much it, for fast food and me. Oh, Subway, yeah, I'll eat a turkey sub. And Taco Bell I sometimes like, but only if it's a mainly refried beans type item. The taco bell beef and chicken freak me out.
As someone who cannot eat gluten, this post fills me with all manner of rage. WHAT A WASTE OF GLUTEN TOLERANCE YOU ARE!
I actually suspect that in my old age I might BE, if not gluten inTOLERANT, at least gluten SENSITIVE. One of the reasons I don't eat much bread is because in general it makes me feel like hammered shit, especially if paired with sugar, like cookies or cake or whatever. Bloat, gas, headache, the whole nine yards. Which is nice.
EET MOR CKIKIN.
Signed, the chick-fil-a cow
:-D
Scratch
I don't eat fast food much - not because I'm against it or anything, I just don't. Weird.
Anyway, at McD's I always get the McNuggets. At Culver's, I get either a ButterBurger with lettuce tomato, ketchup and mustard or a pork tenderloin sandwich. I won't eat at Taco Bell or similar fast food "Mexican" places; they gross me out, I think because of stories I heard from gross kids at my high school who worked there. I do have fond memories of semi-drunken trips to Taco Cabana from college though.
I make my kids order too, and for the same reason. I can still barely speak to grown-ups at the age of 31.
I usually eat the center parts of the bun, but not the thick edges. If there’s no meat or veg or something touching it, I’m not eating it.
This post just makes me kind of jealous because we don’t have any of that awesome fast food up here. What we do have though, is the legend Mighty Taco. I have been trying really hard to save both $$ and my waist line to bring my lunch to work and my go to fast food of late has been sushi, but here are my standard orders:
• Mighty Taco- 2 bean and cheese burritos with no cheese (this is how it has to be ordered), and nacho chips with guacamole
• McDonalds- I will eat some breakfast items from McDonalds (mmmm, hot cakes)—but if we’re getting the kids something from there, I’ll get something else—like Starbucks.
• Wendy’s- Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger and a vanilla frosty. MAYBE fries….but I don’t really care for their fries
• Boston Market- I was pleased that you included BM, I love BM since I worked there all thru high school. I always order what we called “the manager’s special” which was 2 ¼ darks and I will get mashed potatoes and corn combined as 1 side, and creamed spinach or a Caesar salad—I love the shaved parmesan cheese!!
• I don’t eat at Taco Bell—We are Mighty people
• Burger King is so hard for me because I want to eat EVERYTHING on the menu. My standard order is a Whopper (no cheese), onion rings, and sometimes a Whopper Jr. on the side.
• Subway- tuna on wheat with tomato and extra pickles
Oh damn, I wrote a manifesto!
First, let me confess that I shall be thinking of SUPERFLUOUS BUNS all.day.long. And chuckling to myself all.day.long.
Second, we don't eat much fast food...mostly because I'm a vegetarian married to a carnivore so it's hard to find a compromise.
Taco Bell: bean burritos (and yes, they're basically the same everywhere--what gives with the random fussy?)
Subway: veggie sub but really it's a pickle sandwich. Oh, I do lettuce, tomatoes, olives, cheese etc. But I have them put fistfuls of pickles on it and it's YUM.
And that about sums it up. If we go to chick-fil-a for Chris and the Boy I get the salads and a big ol' milkshake because they have yummy shakes.
"IT HOLDS THE BUN OR IT GETS THE HOSE" BWAHAHAHAHAHA, I will be laughing about that for the remainder of the day!! Ha!
I don't like an incorrect bun/meat (well, chicken, since I don't eat beef) ratio either. But like you, I just remove superfluous bun after receiving my order. The only special ordering I do is to ask for NO TOMATOES because otherwise tomato juice contaminates the rest of my sandwich.
I agree with Slynnro about the gluten thing!!
Chick-fila: #2 with no bun, or else the chicken and fruit salad.
BK: #1 with cheese, no bun
Wendy's: same
and that's it for drive thru stuff, after double checking for fryer contamination and talking to employees who have no idea what I'm talking about. I miss McDonalds. I think a Big mac would taste magnificent.
It's sort of awesome to find another person who HATES croutons. My sister always rolls her eyes when I req. they hold them, so thank for for the opportunity to tell her I'm not such a freak. Or maybe just not a lone freak.
I have no problem with buns, it's fries. I almost never get fries, and if I do, I half heartedly eat like 2.
This pregnancy has thrown me for a loop food-wise, so my fast food consumption has gone way down, but here goes DAYS LATE:
McD- Egg McMuffin with Latte and Orange Juice or QPC no onions or chicken nuggets with bbq and sweet and sour. LARGE coke.
Burger King- Double Cheeseburger sometimes, but really don't like BK much. Do love their chocolate shakes.
Wendy's- Grilled chicken sandwich, no tomato, with sour cream and chive baked potato or a side salad with italian instead of fries.
Taco Bell- Chicken Grilled Stuffed Burrito, or 2 taco supremes with a side of rice, pintos and cheese
KFC- Original recipe (only) mashed potatoes, corn on cob
Baja Fresh- Chicken Quesadilla!
Chipotle- barbacoa burrito with black beans, pico and guacamole and sour cream and cheese.
Subway- Veggies and cheese 6" on wheat no onions with oil and vinegar, salt and pepper.
Nathan's- 1 hot dog (sometimes 2) with mustand and saurkraut with cheese fries and a large lemonade.
Boston Market- We get the turkey for 500 meals and eat leftovers for days. Usually, I'll get stuffing, mashed, gravy, green beans, mac and cheese for JD & Sabrina and creamed spinach for me.
We don't have jack in the box, carl's jr or chick fil-a here. We just got a sonic, but their food looks like it sucks.
PS- it has taken me 2 weeks and 3 trips to urban dictionary.com to figure out what TITFTLOG means. Well played, Tussy.
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