Still doing that just-start-writing-for-the-love-of-gawd thing. You know, FYI. In the interest of "managing expectations", as my boss says (HATE). Hey, you know what else I hate? Disclaimers about how shitty a post is going to be!
Anyway, that Toby Keith "Getcha Some" song just came up on my Rhapsody player. Listen, fuck Toby Keith, ok? I'm Done with him. First of all, Toby is a dog's name. Not strictly his fault, but that doesn't make it any less true. Second of all, Tosc and I went to his Toby Keith's I Love This Bar a few weeks ago in OKC. Just...no. It's like a Redneck Hard Rock Cafe or some shit. Although it is reportedly "Oklahoma's busiest restaurant". Well. THERE'S an accomplishment. Sarcastic slow clap for you. Oklahoma's busiest Church-slash-Bible Outlet, now there's something to write home about. Restaurant/Bar? NOT SO MUCH. They did serve calf fries though. Oh, keep your breakfasts down, meat avoiders.
On that same trip we went to another bar to drink some more 3.2 beer (what the FUCK Oklahoma?) and we were the FIRST PEOPLE TO ARRIVE when they opened the doors. At 6 pm. God DAMN we're old. And since the bar was an effing ghost town, it was about 60 degrees in there, so I got CHILLY (whatsup old lady), and Tosc had to buy me a long-sleeved THERMAL. Sexy. And THEN? The guy who sold it to us was like, "well, you know some of the girls are ripping them down the front to show more-" and I was all, "LET ME JUST STOP YOU RIGHT THERE". Jesus. We did get befriended by another older couple as we sat at the bar though (no standing for us! hard on the lower back!). I mean, they possibly slash probably were SWINGERS, but what can you do. If I was a swinger, I sure wouldn't be doing my shopping in a state that serves only 3.2 beer, I'll tell you that much. That's just poor planning.
In conclusion, I was thinking about moving some of the old Messing With Texas posts to this blog. How do I DO that? Don't EVEN say "cut and paste" either. You can just get right back in your time machine and set the dial for 1995 with that shit.
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12 comments:
Oh god. I think there's a way to import. But hell if I know what it is. Am useless.
hmmm...I know you can import w/WP but we all know Blogger sucks, so good luck with that. Cut and Paste.
Sweet Jesus, I love you. Glad you are back. I myself can barely muster up a LAME post every two weeks or so. Bah.
I will try to figure out how to migrate certain posts in Blogger. Way more fun that work! Will let you know if I find anything.
I'm really enjoying these "write and see" posts! Also, I have a friend who has a son Toby and a daughter Molly (also a dog name IMO). She's a dog lover... so it begs the question: did she name her CHILDREN dog names ON PURPOSE, or was it completely subconscious?
Love. You. 1995 and I got nothin' for ya, babe. But good luck with that.
3.2 beer? what? WHHYY??
i have a friend that gets picked up by swingers ALL THE TIME. and i've never once been approached. even though i don't actually want to swing, i still want swingers to WANT ME to want to swing, you know?
Oh, and? Toby Keith's I Love This Bar? Worst bar name EVER.
What in fresh hell is a 'calf fry'???
It's time I come clean and admit that I found the MWT blog a couple of years (?) back b/c it had some 'from the great white north' tagline and I am Canadian, living in Canada---as Great and White and North as one can get. So I clicked, expecting you to be Canadian, and was all 'wtf?!' when it's it's all Texas and mid-Western related content. I am clearly a moron. I had never even heard of a 'hot dish' in my life before finding your blog. Whatever though. Point is: Tess=Awesome. Heart broken after MWT went private, I found you were back through The New Girl (pretty awesome too, she is) and now I am happily reading again and asking myself: how in the hell do they make fries out of calves????
LOL isn't brklyn in for a BIG surprise! I've yet to find anything about OK interesting or exciting, including but not limited to, Toby Kieth (GAG), bars and 3.2 beer... Just stay south of the border and you'll be fine.
PS You figure out that importing thing, you let us all know...
YOU JUST MADE MY DAY. THat post was hilarious.
THANK YOU.
Keep writing your so-called "crappy" posts, for the love of God!
Eeep. I can't believe he actually recommended you alter your thermal.
OMG! When I was little, we had an ACTUAL DOG, ACTUALLY NAMED TOBY!
Also, this whole post had me laughing audibly, so shut up with the whatever-self-deprecating-thing-it-was-you-said.
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