I have lots more to say, OBV, and additional made-up questions to non-answer, but first: A Middle-Class Sob Story!
Through totally legitimate and kosher means, I find myself in possession of a $100 bill. You see how I feel all defensive? That's how shady and nervous-tummied a $100 bill makes me. Don't worry, it's me, not you. That's not, like, NORMAL or whatever. Just another one of my many adorable quirks.
Anyway, I might as well be carrying $100 in MONOPOLY money around in my purse. That's how useful a $100 bill is. I'll have you know that I put $1.50 on my CREDIT CARD this morning when I bought my coffee, while that mofo $100 sat there and glared, mocking me! I was like, I HAVE MONEY! I do! But what were my options?
1) Be That Dick who pays for $1.50 in coffee with a crisp HUNDO, causing the cashier to seethe with hatred while he calls the manager at home for the nuclear launch codes to open the safe and the line behind me grows. (NO. HORRIFYING.)
2) Gather another 30ish dollars in superfluous 7-11 merchandise to bring my total into the Acceptable Change Range. Not as easy as it seems, especially if you already own jumper cables and subscribe to every gossip rag on the planet. (Totally unrelated: WHERE is my "Half Their Size" issue of US Weekly, I ASK YOU? WHERE?)
So. Here I sit. Inflation rapidly eroding the value of my $100, while I remain paralyzed. I really need to start investing in more liquid assets, like solid gold nuggets. Anyway, I'll let you know how it plays out.
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28 comments:
Just keep the bill until you go grocery shopping. They're used to that stuff there. They get big bills all the time and I'm pretty sure they have access to the change after entering only a few nuclear codes.
In other news, I missed you and your middle class sob stories!
I got one of those for Christmas myself, but luckily I work next to my bank and can change it down to more managable increments. Without that option, I would be paralyzed as you are, and also hugely fearful of losing the damn thing. That's the main reason I never have cash; the fear of losing it.
The sad, sad truth is that I spend over $100 at the grocery store ON THE REG.
Which presents another Dilemma of My Own Making: use the $100 and then put the remaining balance on the credit card, or WHAT? I dunno. One solution might be to shake the raging Inappropriate Consumer Guilt I seem to be carrying around.
obviously the only solution is to splurge on something close to $100 for yourself, which you can then pay for in cash. like a cashmere sweater at jcrew or something.
oh wait. texas is hot or whatever. uh.. ok.. so... sunglasses?
Yeah, big bills are annoying! I would probably just deposit the sucker into my bank account so I wouldn't have to worry about where to spend it appropriately.
Seems the hunnie is useless anyway---just shred it.
Hey, welcome back! So glad you started back up again.
my mother insists on giving me hundred dollar bills. i have one in my wallet that's been there since my last birthday, which was in january.
i feel your middle-class pain.
I say go for a super nice pedicure somewhere and the cost plus tip should equal close to the hundred. Then you're done, no more guilt, and some fabulous footsies to show for it!
Not a bad problem to have. There are a million sales on right now. You could probably get a whole outfit at Old Navy for you and the baby and still get change.
I don't know if they do it there, but here, whenever you give a bill of any demonination (ours start at $5), they put it through a little counterfeit checker light thingy. Makes me feel like a criminal every time!
Hon, just go deposit in the bank...or hand it to the teller and ask for some 20s. Vi-ola! Problem solved.
Hand it to the WHO NOW? I haven't seen a teller in a COON'S AGE! Do they still HAVE those?
I dunno, that all sounds like a lot of work SLASH going out of my way, which is the problem.
All the ideas above are great - tbe splurge on yourself (the pedi!) or use it at the grocery store and put anything over $100 on the credit card. I have done that before its no big deal to split the payment.
I had one £20 note and one £10 note the other day and I had to inspect them closely when paying to see which was which, so unused am I to cash. I'm a live-off-the-debit-card type person, so cash is a foreign notion for me.
Good to see you back blogging. I'm glad I was "lazy" (I say, "hopeful") to leave your old feed in my Reader.
Super Target now asks if you'd like to use two forms of payment, so using it there should be no problem at all. They just started doing that, and didn't you know? They did it Just For You!
I say CHARGE and use the hundo when you need it ;)
Okay, places to break the hundred without pissing off people or spending it all.
Pay a toll with it. Do they have toll roads in your area? That's what they do, make change all day long.
Or grab a Checker's burger. Satisfies the junk food craving, is cheap and they totally will not blink twice at a hundred.
How do I know this? Hubby used to work for a company that paid them in cash. Yeah, I know, totally shady, but they gave paycheck stubs with taxes taken out and we've never been audited.
Now go, go spend your money woman!
About once a month I have to make a deposit at the bank, for which I always use the drive-up ATM because I am practically a hermit and don't like to have to talk to real people. I would just stick the $100 in with the deposit.
I will be emailing my mailing address to you. Just write the address on an envelope, put in the $100 bill, seal and stamp the envelope and drop it in your nearest mailbox. Problem solved! You're welcome.
I would definitely put it somewhere I will totally think is SAFE and SECURE and SMART and ready for me to use at a future day when I feel I really, really deserve a $100 splurge and then completely forget about it only to discover it three years later, half chewed by the dog/rodents/ants and wonder, yet again, WTF to do with it.
But then, you shouldn't be like me.
(SO glad I'm lazy/hopeful and found you again, dear Tess. Glad you are back.)
Oh dear christ, just spend it, Tess. Stop thinking so damn much and buy yourself something already. Sheesh!
I was JUST lamenting the demise of your blog and here you are! Thank you for coming back, my emotionally crippled friend. Thank you.
I am SO SO SO glad you are back!!!
YIPPEEE!!!!!
I'll have you know that I frequently purchase a gas station soda on my card for LESS THAN A FREAKING DOLLAR. What pisses me off is when they want me to sign for it. Yes, please, let me sign your slip for my $0.98 soda. jerks.
You're back! Hot damn!
About the $100 - I admit to being a total coward about using them like real money, so I go to a bank and ask them to break it for me.
I carried around a $50 bill for FOUR WEEKS because of the same anxious feeling when it came to spending it!!! I finally went to Target yesterday and restricted myself to spending less than $50 (there was no way I was paying half cash half credit even worse!)...and used my $50 to pay for it. So freeing!
I have had a $50 bill in my wallet for 10 days. I am scared to use it. I hate being such a girl about it but I'm the same way - do I really want to purchase coffee or a snickers with a $50? But that and change is all that is living in my wallet at the moment.
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