Let's start with this: Saturday was Tosc's kids' birthday, and yesterday I went to their birthday party. No big whoop, right? Except that his ex-wife was there, along with a bunch of her friends. UFF. It went fine and all, and actually it's not as big of a deal as it COULD have been, since I've met her before. We used to work together, and we're both from MN (Yankee fetish). But still. STILL MAN! I mean, ACK! I'm still shaking it off over here! I hate that subtle, I-don't-want-it-to-be-a-competition-but-it-so-totally-IS vibe!
Oh, BEE-TEE-DUBS, in case you were wondering, Tosc's ex-wife is like 6 feet tall in heels, with blonde, curly hair and big boobs. Yeah. Basically, she's...wait for it...THE ANTI-ME!!
Why is it that EVERY person I have EVER seriously dated appears to be intrigued by, if not prefer, the AM? I am developing a COMPLEX about this, you guys! Oh, and P.S.? Carlos's girlfriend/fiancee is a 3rd grade teacher. Ha! HA HA! Sort of reminds me of the time that two of my OTHER serious exes married grade-school teachers! Jesus H. Take me to the happy place.
(Seriously, though. WTFWTFWTF?!!)
Well, as long as we've gone this far, we may as well go full-blown Crazy Bitch Hysteria. I'll just come out and say that it bugs me that I'm nothing like what is clearly Tosc's physical type. Prior to me, ALL of his girlfriends/wives/fiancees (he's been engaged once before too) were blonde and tall and curvy (he's obsessed with Miranda Lambert, if that gives you a frame of reference).
Whereas, I am under 5 feet tall, with dark hair and features, and more of an...ATHLETIC body type. Which, as we all know, is polite code for "no boobs".
So, you know, there's that. I'm not insecure about how I look, or anything, you just have to wonder.
Do you have a physical "type", and if so, what is it? Have you ever successfully BROKEN THE MOLD, or whatevs? Are you the anti-me? If so, I still have some ex-boyfriends I could set you up with. Kindergarten teachers and busty blondes encouraged to apply.
27 comments:
Every guy I ever dated was 6'3" or taller. 3 years ago I married a guy that is 5'8"ish and couldn't be happier. I never imagined I would fall in love with him, but voila!
Oh, I am 5'1" first thing in the morning...
So, I broke my type and never looked back.
I don't really have a type, but there are a few features I always found attractive on guys, and Torsten doesn't have any of them. But I still think he's hot, in addition to loving him. I know it's hard not to compare yourself to hot blondes with boobs and all, but if anything, I think the fact that you aren't his type is a good sign. It means he's attracted to you, and really knows you. And he still thinks you're hot, don't worry.
Yeah, it's not that I feel like I compare unfavorably or that he's not attracted to me. In general, I typically DO feel attractive, whether I am or NOT.
I just wonder whether, had we not already known each other, he would have ever been attracted to me or approached me in the first place. And, honestly, probably the answer is no.
Hmmm, my type? I've always dated guys with brown hair, not super tall and usually a little on the stocky side. I pretty much married right into it!
Bryan on the other hand, usually dated tall blondes. I'm not sure how he ended up with the short brunette. But I do HATE when I see old pictures of them. I think it's because I've always wanted to be taller.
My husband is completely not my type (or what my type was). He is a geek. He isn't tall (only 2 inches taller than me so heels makes me tower over him). He has red hair. He is a conservative atheist. He works to fund his life not because he has ambition. And he is an open book. Smart was the only criteria that he really met. My type was tall, dark hair, frat boy, funny, ambitious, funny, a little mysterious. However, my first husband was "my type" and that didn't last 3 years so apparently I'm an idiot and should go against type when it comes to men because my husband is completely perfect for me. We've been married almost 6 years and I still adore him more than I thought possible.
All of H's ex-girlfriends are short. I'm short too. Know who else is short? H's MOTHER. Ewwwwwwwwww. I try not to think about it.
JD's old girlfriends were all short with dark hair. Evidently, he always wanted someone like me. Except for the 5'9" part. Possibly because he's 5'10".
Also, in my head, you're blonde. But not, um, the other things.
We've discussed my type before. All my exes look like Abercrombie ads. Pretty boys are nothing but trouble.
My "type" is really tall and dark with a very deep voice. My hubby is 5'11", had sandy brown hair (now shaves his head), and a moderately deep voice. And I couldn't be happier with him. I would say he mostly fit my type, but kind of didn't. But I don't think you can worry too much about a person's "type". You date a person, not a "type". Sure, you find certain features attractive. You always will. A deep voice will always make me swoon. But a deep voice on a complete jackass won't make me date him.
My husband's type is Latina. And I'm? Um, pretty much the OPPOSITE of that, what with my pasty Irish skin and freckles.
And prior to him, I never dated a guy who didn't have brown hair and brown eyes.
There's a reason we have a sky-blue eyed baby and it ain't me!
my type was tall, skinny(ish), hot, funny, outgoing, frat boy. basically, they were all one hot mess. hubby is NOTHING like my previous boyfriends, though he IS a tall, funny, outgoing frat boy.
i've had MORE THAN ONE exbf mention how they normally date petite girls and i'm the "biggest girl" they've ever dated. and pretty much all their exes were petite little blondes, too. i am gargantuan brunette. awesome.
Well my husband fit my physical type so much that my friends just laughed. However, he has always been attracted Latina types - I'm of German/Irish background so it's safe to say I'm not even close. Still we've been together 13 years because we are both the type we were attracted to on the inside.
Ugh forgive the afterschool special feel of that last sentence!
Also, true fucking story. Of all the women my husband has dated, my boobs are the smallest.
My type: short men, dark hair, no glasses. Married (happily and also for ten years!): 6'1, blond, glasses. You just never know when things are going to click.
Oh this isn't a winnable dilemma. My husband dated a whole slew of girls that were stocky-ish all-American brunettes (think soccer girls). Now, I don't generally suffer from feeling particularly unattractive, but when I see all his (sort of dowdy, kind of chunky, totally uninteresting-looking) exes, I start to wonder if I am just the one that "took." GAH.
Me? I totally have a type and it looks a lot like Hal Sparks (on the small side) or Billy Zane (on the big side). But I also find Eric Stoltz (red hair/fair skin and eyes what?) attractive, so there's just no logic operating here.
Paul's type is petite and dark-haired and a little funny-looking, like Sarah Silverman. My type is tall and hunched and lanky, a little punk, with piercings. And here we are, neither of us with type.
I've always liked tall guys - 6' or taller.
I once dated a guy who was a 1/2" shorter than me. Know what I learned? No big deal. Prior to me, he'd only dated short girls. Post-breakup, he told me that I changed his type.
I also like scruffy guys. Sideburns. Yum.
My husband is clean-shaven (thanks, military), but he grows it out when he's on leave. He is 6'3", though.
My husband likes girls with dark skin, dark hair, and not-wonky or too-large noses (think Rachel Leigh Cook and Natalie Portman). Physically, he got his girl. He also likes them sweet-natured (like an elementary school teacher). Epic fail there, buddy.
I dated a boy who ONLY commented on "minority" celebrities. Only. I called him out on it all the time and he denied it. Well, guess who he dated after me? I knew the kid well.
I know a guy who dated a lot of girls with the same name. I mean, it was a popular name in our age range, but it wasn't Jennifer. You had to wonder if he sought them out on purpose. Weird. Is a name a type?
My type is just: FUNNY.
I guess I really can't think of a physical TYPE. Unless you count Daniel Craig as James Bond. Is that a type?
Although, my sister thinks that all the guys I have dated look alike. So, maybe I do have a type, I just don't know what it is. They just made me laugh.
(am I still talking?)
Also, I have no idea who that chick is in the photos. But NOT CUTE. You are WAY cuter than her.
I date really smart boy scouts. The physical type isn't as strong, but I tend toward the tall and slender-ish with brown hair and I prefer brown eyes, which is awfully a lot like my dad looked, which: weird! strange! gross!
Eh. Whatevs. My husband rocks, even if he is a tall thin brown-haired brown-eyed eagle scout.
I had a type... tall, dark or blonde longish hair, dimples, blue or brown eyes, artistic, romantic...
and I married a 5'9 1/2 inch tall, medium brown hair, looks great with bald hair, no dimples, hazel eyes, and not even close to artistic or romantic.
And it works, and has worked for 17 years together and married for 14 years...
turns out, well, my type wasn't really my type after all!
Homer always had kind of mousey girlfriends, personality-wise. They were different physically (some tall, some short, some blonde, some brunette). I think I took him by surprise a bit.
Physically, I always liked the tall, skinny guys. Geeks were welcome, as were shy boys. Homer is not tall, kind of pretty and the complete opposite of shy.
Miranda Lambert is batshit crazy so, um, maybe THAT's his type, so you fit it perfectly. HA.
I KID. (Also, I am far too amused by myself.)
My type: geeks with a sense of humor. Which my husband is! (I don't really have a physical type preference, I guess.)
my type was brunette, bright big eyes, athletic, women. Here I am married to an asian man
I don't have a physical type and to be honest, I think it's kind of a mistake to. I mean, it's OK if you are automatically DRAWN to a certain type but to not give people a chance because they don't fit that type is I think a mistake. A mistake many of my girlfriends have made. All of them still single.
I find that I can be attracted to almost anybody, if they have the right personality.
PS: Birthday party: AWK!!!!
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